Doesn't it seem backwards to wakeup next to someone before getting to know them? I would say that most times you don't actually get to know the person you wake up next to. Sure, you maybe know their name and what fraternity or sorority they're in or if they're in one, but I would venture to say that we rarely get to know those people on an emotional level like we just got to know them on a physical level. Getting to know someone physically, for us millennials, is much easier than getting to know someone on a deeper, emotional level.
This difficulty and fear of getting to know people emotionally is why we don't go on dates anymore and opt for what I call a "couch date." It's why the idea that "whoever cares less has the power in the relationship" has been created. And it's why "Oh, we haven't texted, but he Snapchatted me!" has become a common phrase in our conversations with our friends. If you found texting relationships frustrating, then I suggest deleting your Snapchat because that's a whole other form of social media for us to build relationships off of. It's a whole other way for us to distance ourselves from real face-to-face conversation.
I think about these things and laugh that we're so comfortable with this hookup culture we've created, yet so scared of texting the person we were with the night before. We don't want to come off as being too clingy or for actually caring or for wanting it to be more than just another hookup, so instead, we fight the urge and desire to send a text and remind ourselves that this is just how our generation is. We are constantly suppressing our emotions in order to conform with the culture. Our culture tells us not to care, so we force ourselves to stop caring. We will look psycho or clingy if we send that text, so we fight every urge we have. You mean you hoped it would be more than just a hookup? So we convinced ourselves that's all we were.
Perhaps we think this is making us stronger. Maybe we believe that not caring and running away from emotional connections will make us tougher, but I believe it's breaking us. I hear more people my age talk about how they don't have emotions or if they do, they refuse to discuss them because it's "easier that way." They bottle them up and run away from them, never confronting them until they have no choice but to address all of their emotions at once. That seems a lot more draining than just addressing them as they come along. It seems a lot more draining to keep forcing yourself not to care, to tell yourself that it was only a hookup when you wish it were more. We think we're doing ourselves a favor when we conform to the culture of our society. Life will be easier if we run away from our emotions, but they always have a way of catching back up to us. So, stop running. Ask the girl out on a date, text the boy from last night. Be honest with yourself and care if you care.
