On February 15, 2017, film and video production company The Scene released a video that has sparked much discussion on social media, primarily Twitter. Essentially, two exes (Leonard and Kourtney) sat together and discussed the course of their relationship and how infidelity affected their relationship.

There are a lot of accusations and opinions circling around #HurtBae, but I am pleased to report that most are against Leonard, the one who cheated, and sympathies are given to Kourtney. There are, however, people who blame the girl for staying in the relationship though she was well aware that her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Although we may have our own ideas and thoughts of how we ought to deal with these types of situations when we're outside a relationship looking in, and we all have probably heard the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater," it's a completely different thing to be in the relationship dealing with unfaithfulness.

It is clear to me that Kourtney definitely loved Leonard. You can see it in her eyes, the tone of voice she uses and how she stayed in an unhealthy relationship, trying to fix it. It is easy for us on the outside to pinpoint a time and say, "This is when you should have left" and place blame, but one thing she says stands out: Kourtney says, "I forgave you." And, when asked why, she responds simply, "Because you're my best friend."

In that moment, my heart broke for this girl because I knew the exact pain she was feeling.

I know what it's like to be in love with your best friend. I know what it's like to be cheated on. I know what it's like to lose everything in a split second.

I know what it's like to question yourself: what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me? What could I have done differently? How could I have done to make him stay? Why did he choose her over me?

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you if your significant other cheats on you. There's nothing less attractive about you, there's nothing you could have said or done to prevent it. If your significant other is unfaithful to you, that's their issue.

Even if you knew this then, it wouldn't relieve the immense pain. The after is the worst part. You just miss him. The way his hugs feel, the kisses, the good night and good morning texts. You remember all the good times and replay the words said. You reread the conversations and you question if it was all real. Did he mean it? Any of it? Did he change his mind? When was I not good enough? Was I ever good enough? Will I ever find anyone?

You see them together, not even a week from when it all happened. They claim to be "just friends" (more like friends with benefits... "friends" that hold hands and spend private one-on-one time together).

You hear from outside sources what they say about you behind your back – your former best friend and now ex-boyfriend who you thought you could trust but are now apparently spreading rumors about you to people not even remotely related to this ordeal.

Friends try to make it better. Some do. But it's hard. You know they knew better, and either they told you, and you ignored them or they didn't even tell you at all. They say things like, "You can do so much better," or "Who does she think she is, stealing someone's man?" even, "They're disgusting."

It feels good sometimes, but you still see the good in him. Villainizing him doesn't help because the things you love about him didn't change. You still love him.

You avoid all the places you know he goes, you shut yourself off from the world. You want to talk to somebody about it, but the worst part is that you can only think of him. He is the one who knows you best. He is the one who best understands the situation you're in and how messy it is. He is the one you know can make you feel better with his diplomatic speeches and comforting words... because he's not only the love of your life, but he's also your best friend. And, if you're as lucky as me, your next best friend is the one who took him from you.

You learn to deal with the pain – it always hurts, and things will always remind you of him (the spot where you had your first kiss, the smell of his cologne, the nickname he called you, the dress he loved), but you learn to be okay. Through endless nights of tears, through passive aggressive Facebook posts, through angry rants to friends, you get through it.

You learn to be by yourself. You learn to know yourself. You learn to love yourself.

You realize that you don't need him to show you that you're loved. You don't need him to stand up for you. You love yourself, you stand up for yourself. You learn what you like, what you dislike and you begin to see his flaws. You realize you're now missing his affection and company not him.

You realize that you're pretty awesome, and if he couldn't realize and appreciate that enough to commit to you, he's not worth your time. Although that time spent with him was special, it's in the past. There will be better times. Someone will come along at the new place and the right time that will show you why it didn't work out with everyone else.

Even though this was the most painful experience of my life, and I would definitely not want to ever go through it again, I wouldn't trade it for anything. The end of this relationship has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined. Other people have commented on my confidence and how it inspires them; I'm so grateful for that. I tell them my assuredness in who I am and what I want came from not knowing.

Good people can also do awful things. The things you do don't define you, what you learn from those things do. My ex-boyfriend went on to cheat several more times with subsequent girlfriends. I know he has so much more growing and maturing to do, yet he is still one of the most influential, well-spoken and intelligent individuals I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I don't hate him. Through Christ, I have forgiven him and will always love him, but it is true, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Yes, people can change, but once someone realizes that they can be "in a relationship" but also get someone else on the side, they won't stop. There are underlying issues that need to be resolved, and, unfortunately, forgiving a significant other and giving them a second chance doesn't usually address the real issue. It's like cheating on your diet: at first you feel bad for the one cookie, but soon one cookie becomes two, two becomes three and pretty soon the whole batch is gone.

Believe in love and the good in people, but also know your own worth and respect yourself enough to know what to put up with. You deserve a loving and committed significant other who realizes how unique and amazing you are, and loves you for simply being you. Don't try to impress someone, find someone who's impressed by you.