Being chronically ill has its ups and downs. A major downer is when the anxiety kicks in. People tend to treat you differently and tell you things like "Maybe you should take some time to work on yourself."
What is the chronically ill population supposed to do? Should we disappear off the face of the planet until we are 100% capable of being around people with no anxiety? That is not going to happen, but you can take steps to try and better yourself.
More often than not chronically ill people will have some form of anxiety and depression, which could most likely be linked to the fact that we can't do half of the things we used to be able to do. Unless you're like me; I haven't known much else than being chronically ill since I have had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was four years old.
Everyone's anxiety is completely different because we all think differently. Unfortunately there is no set way to deal with it and definitely no way to cure it. This does not mean that we are weak. It means that we live in a constant battlefield. Most chronic illnesses are a severe case of our body hating itself, which is why I view anxiety as a form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). However it will never be PTSD because we never leave the battlefield, it's inside us. This can cause numerous types of anxiety. When you are misunderstood by others, BOOM, social anxiety. If you don't want to do something because of your illness or illnesses, that could lead to phobias as well.
For me, I just have a really hard time understanding people and why they do things the way they do. It causes me to almost be scared to go certain places that I know I won't fit in because of my illness, and to overthink things a lot because I have been bullied. There's also the inevitable thought of wondering if you caused this to yourself and if there was anything you could do to fix it. I'll let you in on a secret--it's not your fault; none of it is. There is nothing you can do but cope with the cards you were dealt. Good news--you can make an amazing life for yourself and the obstacles will make you more resilient, you just have to keep pushing.
It's my senior year of college and I've finally found something to help my anxiety. Since I have done this I haven't had an anxiety attack or even felt discomfort in situations. I had to take a form of a personality assessment called DiSC. It breaks down personalities into four easy to remember categories (unlike the Myers Briggs Test) Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. The test gives four words and you need to rank them on a scale of one to four; four being most like you and one being least like you.
As I said before most of my problem was that I didn't understand people, but then I realized maybe I didn't understand myself and how my brain operated. The test tells you your results and how your personality works, but it also tells you how to work with the other types and what they need from you. I learned a lot of good things about myself but also challenges of my type--not flaws. It made me realize that I just really didn't understand others and for me to be comfortable I needed to analyze things, which I later learned was the primary trait of my style.
My results were CD, which basically means my brain is more analytical than others. This could make me come off as annoying or critical of others. The perfect example of my type would be Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, although he is the extreme. Or even Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds (basically anyone in that cast really). Comparing my style with fictional characters was a good exercise because it made me aware of what I look like through other people's eyes.
Since taking this assessment, I have also taken the much more in depth Myers Briggs test and have gotten my personality type. Some of the information is similar but some of it is significantly more in depth to me specifically. I understand that this isn't a proven "cure" for anxiety, but it has nearly cured mine. Instead of looking at my analytical mind as a flaw, I have embraced it and learned to work with it. I no longer care what others think of me or how I live my life and I am significantly more confident. If anyone has the same issues I do, I urge you to give this a shot. You can find free Myers Briggs tests online and it may just help you. I sincerely hope this insight has helped my fellow chronically ill friends, because no one should feel like a lesser being because they are different.
