Whether you are graduating High School and are going to separate colleges, got a new job, or just have to move, a long distance relationship is an extremely difficult thing to do, some might even say it's impossible. After all, there must be a reason why so many long distance relationships fail and so many people tell you to never do long distance.
Long distance relationships are built on trust and need to have strong communication to work. So before you throw in the towel and say it will never work, let me say that I entered a long distance relationship three months into the relationship, spent seven months long distance, moved into a three bedroom with another friend, and just moved into a one bedroom apartment with my girlfriend last Wednesday. Yes, I did not mistype that, I am a guy who willing went through a long distance relationship and survived and is here to talk about it. Hopefully my experience and perspective as a guy can give you a different view on the subject and give you hope to make your relationship last.
The biggest thing I can stress is that you need to have something to look forward to so when it gets tough you know there are a better days to come. My girlfriend and I did this by always planning our trips to see each other before the next trip even started. That didn't necessarily mean that we had our tickets purchased for the Fourth of July when we saw each other for Memorial Day, but that did mean that we knew it was only 40 day between the two trips before the first trip even started. When you think about it that way, it makes the time pass by faster and gives you something to hope for. It also helps you avoid the pitfall of saying you'll plan a trip but never actually going through with it.
If I wasn't able to see my girlfriend during the seven months we were apart I don't think I would have been able to make it. Luckily her grandparents did everything in their power to help us be together and I am forever grateful that they did that. Being able to see each other every other month or so gave us the ability to get through it. If you are not in a situation where it's possible to see each other this often, find something else to look forward to. Maybe write and mail each other weekly letters talking about what you've done so you can look back at them when things get tough, but find something that will give you hope that the relationship will never die.
The next thing that you need to know about long distance is that you have to respect what the other person is doing in their lives. While my girlfriend and I had our fair share of super late Skype chats, it is important to realize that staying on Skype might not be the best thing. If you know they have a paper due tomorrow or have work early in the morning, don't bug them to Skype or talk on the phone. They are either going to feel bad because you want to talk and they can't, or they are going to procrastinate on their paper or not get a full night sleep for work. Either way neither of them are healthy options and over time they will begin to resent you for not getting things done.
The last and probably most important things I can say is that you are going to fight, even when you see each other. Maybe my girlfriend and I are special snowflakes, but our fights seemed to only happen when we were in person. At first we were confused as to why we were fighting in person even though things were fine when we were apart. Her grandma, to the rescue again, mentioned that we are two individuals living apart but sharing a passion for each other. We both have a way of doing things while we are apart and when we come together those ways clash and can create arguments. You need to understand that even though these arguments are going to come up, it doesn't mean that your relationship is over. It just means you need to work on the way you both do things and see how you can compliment each other.
As you decide if you are really willing to take on a long distance relationship remember what the end goal is, a healthy relationship that will soon have no distance. If you are not fully committed to the relationship than you are just going to waste each others time. It is important to always have something to look forward to, understand the other person's life, and know it is OK to fight. You can either do long distance or you can't. The most important thing, though, is that at the end of the day, if it's the one, than nothing really matters.
