There comes a time in your life when you realize some people just don't fit in. Maybe it's a best friend who just doesn't support your goals anymore, or someone you just met at a bar who's driving you insane. Maybe it's your mom, or your brother, or you uncle. Maybe it's even a professor. Regardless, we've all experienced this before: the Toxic person. I've ran across several of these in my life and it's taken a lot of strength to get over them, to let them go, and to realize that you can live without them.

Usually, they go unnoticed, which is the scary part. They could be a part of your life right now, but you wouldn't even know. So that's why here -- to help you help yourself and to take control of your life and realize that not everyone will be good for you. Here are some tips and some things that I've found on my quest to ~detox~ my life.

1. They make you nervous

This one is pretty self explanatory, but it makes sense. If this person gives you butterflies, in a bad way, then they aren't meant to be there. Maybe they don't text you back right away and it has you feeling anxious, or maybe you find yourself struggling to find conversation topics that you both can agree on... whatever it is, if they make you nervous, it's a good sign they're being a toxic person.

2. They make you question yourself

It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life, most of us just go with the flow and figure it out along the way, but if this person is making you question your decisions, whether that be the decision to party instead of study, or to wear lipstick to class, or to perform in open mic, or even to change a major... maybe they aren't really a friend. There's a very fine line to this point, since concern is different than trying to control, but if this person seems manipulative and you find yourself changing hella much, then it's time to take a step back and evaluate... is this person truly good, or are they toxic?

3. They make you really really excited but also really really sad

This type of person makes you feel a lot of emotions in a very short amount of time and you feel like you're on a never ending rollercoaster. Their absence makes you sad, but when they're around, they are the star. You feel like you can't be happy without them. But you can be, you just gotta have the strength to nix them.

4. They don't listen. EVER.

This person is always around when they need you, but the moment you need them, they vanish. Enough said. Get rid of them immediately, we all deserve someone who will listen and care about our problems as much as we care about theirs.

5. They are selfish

This goes along with number 3, but it's a bit more finessed. This is really difficult to see at first, but there are give away signs. First, they are inconsistent with their form of communication, two, they are emotionally damaged and think the only way to feel better is to damage others (for example, if you are broken up with, they you are more likely to initiate the next break up), three, do a background check of their social media accounts, like twitter: if they are constantly complaining and posting about every emotional thing and need a lot of responses, well they will treat you like they treat all of their followers, you'll be just a temporary fix.

6. You always feel kinda off

You ever have that one person who invites you out and you know you really don't want to go. There's this guy feeling, even when everyone around is saying that they're great and fun and super cool... yeah well follow that gut feeling. Undoubtedly, that person probably is all of those things, but they just won't be for you. Take this as an example, I once spent almost 24 hours with a group of people doing things I didn't like and I pretended to be so happy, but at the end of the day, I knew it just wasn't me.

7. You will feel so relieved once they're away

This will only be felt after the matter. So you gotta stop texting them, get away from them, don't talk to them because they won't change. You gotta understand that toxic people are almost like sociopaths, they don't really care about you. And thought it may seem like them do, they just don't. So changing them to fit your mold of a perfect human, i.e., "they'd be great if they just changed XYZ" yeah that's not going to happen with this type of person. Go invest in your real friends, look around and you'll find them. Tell them how much you appreciate them and cherish those relationships because those are the ones that will lift you up and make you a better you.

Cool thanks for reading this week, hopefully this helps a few :)

-J