For some, the idea of a long-distance relationship is unattainable. For others, it's beautiful knowing that two people can be so meant for each other that distance can't break them apart. I want to share my story, complete with ups, downs, and tips so that even when you are far apart, you are together in heart.
The Story of Us
My boyfriend and I met when we were 13 on Xbox Live by the mere chance that my brother left his party open.
My brother never invited me to join his chat groups, so I took any opportunity I could to hang out with him. Little did I know that I was meeting the person I would fall in love with 7 years later. When I first joined the party, my brother was mad, but then he introduced me to his new friends, Oliver and Ben. Oliver, who is now my boyfriend, sent me a friend request, but there was one catch. He was from England. For months, Oliver and I would play Halo Reach and Minecraft, getting to know each other. We added each other on KIK where we would plan the next time we would play Xbox together. KIK conversations turned into Skype calls and every weekend. Eventually, we started to Skype, playing Pictionary, and laughing together. We continued this for a few years until we both gave up Xbox. We added each other on Snapchat and Instagram and talked almost every day.
We considered each other our best friends, telling our secrets, fears, and dreams.
We had long FaceTime calls where we would just sit there together and enjoy each other's company. In June of 2019, I flew to England with my family to meet Oliver. We spent a few days together, and I realized that he was more than everything that I ever imagined. He felt the same way. After I left, we spent our days talking to each other and trying to push our feelings away because of the distance. 4,457 miles seemed impossible for a relationship. Oliver had planned to visit me in June of 2020 to tell me how he felt. Unfortunately, COVID-19 had disrupted these plans. Instead, he had a contingency plan. When his flight was officially canceled, he called me and told me everything he was planning, and we were finally together in May. Although there is an ocean that separates us and probably a long time until we will see each other again, I have never felt closer to someone.
The Ups and Downs
I am going to be perfectly honest: long distance relationships are NOT easy. They take time and a lot of effort to make sure that both parties are happy. However, even though it can be challenging, I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything.
The Ups:
1. You build trust.
Trust is the foundation of building a successful relationship, and long-distance requires a whole lot of trust. Being loyal to someone is a choice; it is something you choose every day. We choose one another because we see qualities in each other that aren't replaceable by others. We choose one another because we can see a future with each other, and we choose each other. Despite the distance, there is hope, friendship, and a whole lot of love.
2. You appreciate the little things.
Everything your partner does for you seems a little more romantic. You learn not to take the little things like good morning texts and FaceTime calls for granted. Oliver and I do this by writing to each other. Even though it is difficult to be apart, learning to appreciate all the things and effort your partner does for you makes you build a stronger bond.
The Downs:
1. Being physically apart is hard.
To me, there really only is one down of a long-distance relationship, and that is the fact that we are not physically together. It is hard not being able to hug your person every day or meet up for a Friday night date. It is difficult not knowing the next time you will see them, but with this challenge comes an even better feeling when you finally do get to be together. If the person truly means something to you, then every day apart is just one second closer until you are together again.
Tips For A Successful Long Distance Relationship
1. Make time for each other.
Set time during your week to spend time together, whether that be on Facetime, a phone call, or even a Netflix party. Making time for one another is important so that even with the distance, you both still feel loved and cared about.
2. Talk to each other when something is bothering you.
This is something I am still working on, but when you feel uneasy or upset, say something! Feeling uneasy sometimes is normal. It comes with being miles apart, but it is important to work on these things so you both can grow together. It is important to be empathetic and understanding of the other person's feelings, as it is hard to fully understand someone through a screen. Communication is essential to making the most out of any relationship, and it's even more important in a long-distance relationship.
3. Tell each other how much you care about one another.
Being open and honest about your feelings is the best way to make the most out of a relationship. Reminding each other how much you love one another and how you can't wait to see each other makes the wait feel a bit more exciting. Putting in the effort to make sure the other person knows you care is the best way to make them feel close to you.
Oliver always tells me that yes, it is difficult to be apart. What're a few months of difficulty compared to a lifetime full of happiness? He instills in me that there is truly someone for everyone. I surely believe that he is my someone, even if we are 4,457 miles apart.
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