While I certainly hope none of you reading this have ever had to experience the hurt that comes with the absence of a friend once very prevalent in your life, I also realize it is unlikely such is not the case or will not be the case at some point in the future.
On that depressing note, let's begin.
Because friendships (yes, even great ones) can end for a variety of reasons it is firstly important to understand why yours did.
Do your best to understand what lead up to the “break up”
Some questions you can ask yourself to help you understand are:
Was it something you did? Was it something they did? Or was it maybe none of the above? Did you guys just grow apart perhaps?
Understanding why your close friend is no longer your close friend or maybe even a friend at all is key to starting the process of healing and eventually moving on from the relationship. It is important to know where things went wrong and why so you can either be sure to not make the same mistakes or recognize the warning signs in future friendships.
Acknowledge how much of the breakup is your fault (if any) and how much is their fault (if any).
In understanding where things went wrong, it is just as important to pick apart where the fault lies. While it may seem petty to dwell on such details, such details are actually exactly what must be thought on in order for forgiveness to begin to take place. Either you must ask for it or you must give it or maybe even both before closure rather than anger, resentment, frustration or sadness can be at forefront of your mind.
Most importantly, learn from the experience.
As heartbreaking as it might be, you can still take something good away from what seems like an irreparably damaged friendship. In addition to having all the good memories before things went sour you now also have emotional experience dealing with something much less than pleasant. Use whatever happened to not only grow as a person but to be a better friend or pick out better friends for you!
Keep in mind: Things get better with time
As cliche as it is, one day in the future you might even be capable of looking back on the relationship with nothing but fondness. Or hey! Maybe you'll decide to reach out to them again having healed with newfound experience under your belt. Chances are just like the test you won't remember being upset over failing in the sixth grade, you won't even remember what made things so bad with your friend.
Rather than dwelling on something that can't be reversed, use the experience to better yourself and the friends and people still around you! Even though friendship breakups can be some of the hardest out there to deal with, there will always be more friends to be had and second chances to be given (to both of you:)).
- To My Best Friend That Distance Couldn't Get Rid Of ›
- To The “Best Friend” I Decided I Couldn't Be Friends With Anymore ›
