Living on your own comes with many freedoms. It's an exciting stage in your life where you are free from cramped dorm rooms, your parents barking at you to clean your room, and finally being free. Who better to share these benefits with than your best friend?
Wrong.
Living on your own also comes with many challenges like splitting housekeeping responsibilities, cooking for yourself, adapting to your roommate's lifestyle habits, and all in all compromising, which is where relationships can face some serious stress.
I am speaking from personal experience after having made a unanimous decision with my best friend that it would be a great idea to live together. We'd lived in the same dormitory on different floors and we'd spend each waking moment with each other to the point where people would ask us if we were roommates. We decided to make that a reality, but from my experience, it doesn't mean you have to make that a reality with your bestie.
Here are some things to consider if you and your best friend are thinking of moving in together:
1. It's Not Going To Be A Sleepover
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A never-ending sleepover with your best friend might sound appealing now, but once you start living with someone it truly tests the foundation of your relationship. Little quirks about them that you may have found amusing earlier, you might find unbearable now. It's not something you can change about them, but it's better not to turn a healthy relationship into one where you examine every character flaw of theirs.
2. Choosing Commitment Over Conflict
Should you and your best friend be stuck in a conflict, you may choose to preserve your relationship instead of getting into a fight over something tiny. The thing is that tiny problems eventually fester and grow and may drive a wedge in your relationship.
3. Boundaries
Boundaries include anything from alone time, physical boundaries, sharing supplies, and food. With a stranger, these boundaries are already in place. What's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. Living with your best friend, it's important to set up boundaries before you assume they'll already be in place. Otherwise, next thing you know your roommate likes to eat your PopTarts and barge into your room to hang out with only the best intentions, but obviously that's not something you want happening everyday otherwise it spells out trouble for your relationship.
Whoever you choose to live with, whether best friend or not, you may encounter the above situations. It's best to talk out the good and bad of living together with your roommate and go forward with total transparency to both lead happy lives and a healthy if not stronger relationship.
Langston Hughes (1902-1967)
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