The friend zone . A dark place where no one likes to be kept. The unwarranted barrier between friend and more-than-friends. How does one even get there? How can it be prevented? How can one escape?
There's only one way to avoid it, or get out of it, whichever predicament you find yourself in. The solution?
Know that there is no such thing.
That's right, go ahead and stop reading if you disagree. Stop reading if you're annoyed with this answer and want to sulk in your miserable friend-zoned position in life. That's okay, I'll be over here, sipping my wine.
All joking aside, there's really just that to understand about it. The friend zone is a made-up place where people go to create excuses on why they should not pursue someone they have interest in. It is a way to avoid getting hurt, or a way to give a reason why the other person isn't interested.
Unfortunately, there are people out there who believe that once the friendship is established then that's it, that there aren't any chances for a romantic relationship.
This stigma is all wrong.
Why is it suddenly impossible to build a good foundation on a friendship? Both parties need to get to know each other anyway, so why not without the pressure of needing to overly impress the other. Or do the age-old feigning interest in the other's hobbies, tastes, hopes, dreams, etc.
You know one day those video games will bother you... or Pinterest-ing, or attending rock concerts...whatever it is these kids do nowadays. Those things you pretended to like, too? Yeah, it'll catch on that you secretly have a list of things you'd rather be doing.
Strong relationships are based off of friendships where both parties are able to communicate and want to understand where the other is coming from. They are loving without judgement and faithful through thick and thin. So how then, do people think this is not the basis for a strong, romantic relationship?
Also, when it comes to meeting parents? It's way less stressful to meet families when you're initially being introduced to them as a friend among other friends. Get to know them, let them see your charm, and once they love you? Well, they'll be happy to have you in their lives--and wouldn't want their own child to mess up the relationship you've built.
I'm not an expert when it comes to dating, though many articles that I write may lead you to think that. I'm just someone familiar with being told that I put guys in this imaginary friend zone. A lot.
My response? I am friendly. I am a strong, independent [mixed-race] woman, who does not need a man, but I want to enjoy dating, too! It would be nice to enjoy it without the guy being too scared that I've already made up my mind about what his place in my life will be. I don't decide that right off the bat!
Women like me enjoy getting to know people just as they are, no matter who they are, and decide if we have interest from there. Obviously if I continue to talk to you and ask you questions and genuinely want to know about your life--I'm probably interested and not just being friendly! But yes, I am still being friendly. Because I do this with both men and women. Women for best friends, men for possible romances, for clarification.
The only thing holding a person in the friend zone is their belief that it's too late, and that they are now within that realm of friendship only.
Get over yourself and take a chance at life. If they turn you down, continue the friendship and know that there may be someone else out there for you. Probably someone you've stuck in your own "friend zone."
*insert eye-roll here*
