Ah, yes... Tinder.
We definitely have a lot of mixed feelings about this interesting little corner of the Internet world. Some people are very much opposed to it and have downright refused to use it ever, while others spend and have spent many a late night perusing the app for potential hookups, romances, or even friendships.
Tinder users can only contact their matches - that is, people who have right-swiped "yes" back on them. In a perfect world, this would confirm without a doubt that two people are mutually interested in one another. But in reality, there is a lot of ambiguity to be had, and this sometimes gives way to undesirable results.
Unwanted nude photos, catcalls, outright creepiness…The list of cringe-worthy Tinder encounters is seemingly endless.
Whether you're an existing user of the app or you're just now inspired to create a profile, here are some suggestions for good Tinder etiquette. Using these guidelines to shape your Tinder presence will not only make you much more appealing but will also help you see that respect for others goes a long way when meeting new people.
1. Don't send nudes without consent.
There is absolutely nothing sexy, let alone acceptable, about sending unsolicited pictures of yourself to anyone. Do NOT, whether you are male or female or anything in between, send naked photos to your Tinder match if they have not explicitly said they would like them. Just because they matched with you doesn't mean they want to see your naughty bits. And if that doesn't convince you, think about this: sending unwanted nude pictures is considered sexual harassment. So please, do yourself and everyone else a favor by respecting someone's wishes if they decline nudes or do not outright ask for them.
2. Always ask up front what your match wants out of the app.
In other words, make sure to communicate with your match and touch base as to what you both want. Whether you're looking for a hookup or a potential long-term relationship, your partner should know that right away what it is you want. Likewise, you should also know what they want. Communication, in this case, is very important to avoid misunderstandings, complications, and worst of all, hurt feelings.
3. Respect your match's wishes if they tell you to stop talking to them.
This might be a huge let-down; maybe you thought that they were enjoying your company as much as you were enjoying theirs. It seemed that everything was going okay, so why should you back off without demanding an explanation?
Because it's just the right thing to do. Plain and simple, it hurts to be rejected, but if someone expresses that they're not interested in you even after you have gotten to know them, just back off. Respect that you both will never want the same thing in this situation, and leave before anything can escalate.
4. Don't be vulgar.
Sexual innuendos may be funny to you, but considering you don't know your match's sense of humor yet, it's best not to greet them with a dirty joke or comment. That's a pretty good way to guarantee yourself blocked or just outright ignored. Plus, you could unknowingly be offending somebody with whatever you choose to say.
5. Be yourself.
It's never a good idea to pretend to be someone you're not. Nobody likes to be asked out on a date only to realize they are meeting up with someone who looks completely different than they were told to expect. Please, don't catfish anyone or lie about your career or any other important aspects of your life, especially if you can foresee a future with your match. Be truly and consistently yourself.
6. Know that it's okay to make the first move.
Ladies, in particular, are often shy about initiating conversations with their matches (but guys, you definitely can be, too). But seriously, what was the true point of swiping right on them if you don't intend on interacting with them? Don't be shy - a simple "hey, what's up" will suffice, and just like that, you've got yourself a pretty solid chat! And don't be discouraged if they don't reply - it's their loss, for sure.
7. Make an effort to connect with your match.
There is no better way to show someone that you're interested in getting to know them than by asking them about themselves. Inquire about their hobbies, their studies, their pets, or whatever else comes to mind that you'd use in a real-life scenario when you're meeting someone for the first time. Your match will be pleasantly surprised to see that you're not like one of those other bozos that rattle off their autobiography before you can even get a word in.
8. Take it slow.
Seriously, don't rush into any wedding plans or break down their door with an armful of balloons while singing a song to profess your love for them. It's just too excessive. No matter how awesome you think they are, please don't play the part of an overexcited puppy and leap into things too quickly. Take things slow; you'll know if it feels right for you to ask for their number or to ask them on a date. Just take your time and let it all fall into place naturally.
9. Don't bombard them with messages.
There is nothing more overwhelming than a flood of texts or Snapchats or anything else from someone that just won't quit. Your match may be busy, or maybe they just want some time away from their phone. Whatever it is that's keeping them away, it's none of your business unless they tell you later. You should wait patiently for their reply without spamming them.
10. Be careful with your personal information.
Internet Safety 101: Don't volunteer your personal information- your address, phone number, etc. - to merely anyone who asks for it. You should form a pretty solid connection with your match before you think about telling them where you live. Chances are, if someone seems a bit "off" to you, you should listen to your gut and keep them at a distance. Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation by giving your match the tools they need to start stalking or harassing you. And of course, if things do escalate to this point, you should go to the police right away and file a report to protect yourself from serious harm.
Best of luck out there in the world of online dating! You've definitely got the tips you need, now get out there and be the best version of yourself. You'll be a lot more marketable this way, and (probably) more attractive, although I can't promise you any dates. Godspeed, Tinder user.