In a world that is full of the romanticization of sadness and anxiety, and trends of "my life is a mess" on social media, it's not surprising that no one in the younger generation is happy. We're constantly isolating ourselves with the idea that no one knows how we're feeling and we're alone in the world, or we're coming together only to glorify how sad we are. Lately, the tones have become slightly more positive, but they're all in a way that still ignores how we feel: "put on your red lipstick and forget about it." But why is no one happy? And how do we fight back with the idea that being happy is not only uplifting, but easy to accomplish? How do you become happy in a world that is so obsessed with being sad or emotionally vacant?
You must understand what happiness is (and what it is not). Let me tell you what I have learned about happiness. Happiness is not some big, all-encompassing, life-changing anomaly. You are never going to just wake up one day and be happy. It's not going to happen when you fall in love, and it's not going to happen when you leave your hometown.
Happiness is not the big. It is the little nothings that are so often overlooked: sunny days, crunchy leaves, warm hugs, feeling accomplished, feeling loved. In order to be happy, you have to let these seemingly small sensations fill you up, to consume you, to the brim with enough 'happy' to make even your fingertips tingle with it. And when you have allowed yourself to be filled enough times and moments, you will find that you can be filled over and over again without spilling over, and you will realize the real potential you have to be happy. There’s so much of it.
Happiness lies in the presence of appreciation, and wonder, and the ability to be content. If you rely solely on happiness’ accompaniment of the bigger happenings -- the thought of “when this comes my way, I will be happy” --rather than just for them to assist in your quest to be filled, you may be happy in theory, but never in disposition. Happiness is a day-by-day experience; it is not an end result.
Happiness is not a location, and it's not something that other people possess for you to discover in them. Happiness is being able to go to a coffee shop by yourself and not be uncomfortable. It's walking to class without feeling the need to hide your face in your phone or have headphones in. It's interacting with the world. It's loving yourself. It's letting go of any expectations you have of yourself or standards you're setting yourself up to. So what if you want to believe the things you do, dress the way you do, act the way you do? Why are you holding back?
The happiest people, I have found, are unapologetically themselves. It's sitting in that coffee shop near a big window, reading a book and seeing the dust particles in the sun; it's spending the night in the wilderness and seeing the sky in a way you've never seen before, glittering with stars; it's spreading love to the people you appreciate most; it's trying something new; it's seeing a great sunset and thinking, "this world is mine."
You have to let it happen. As opposed to something you must work toward, happiness is what happens when you stop trying and open your eyes and your heart to what's already around you. It fills you up. It will make you feel dense, but somehow, lighter than you've ever felt before. Happiness is infinitely available, and even when struggle comes and you really do feel sad or anxious or alone, it will always be around. Once you see it, it is always around. You will never lose it.
Let yourself be happy. You are here, you exist, and the world is yours.
