Homesickness is a serious aspect of any first-year college experience. Commuter or resident, there are aspects of “home” that dissolve once you leave the comfortable halls of your high school. I never expected it to hit me so hard since I chose a school close to home. I assumed my family and pets would be readily available whenever I needed them. What did surprise me was the amount I missed my two best friends. I was in the process of creating new relationships but I lost the daily access to the two girls who I could really talk to about anything. The transition drove me to a mental breakdown that landed me in the counseling office on campus the day before my nineteenth birthday. I’m writing this article though not as a look into my mental state, but to demonstrate how reaching back out to the girls I needed was harder than before, but so worth it. I am now proudly writing this no longer seeing the counselor and mentally so much stronger than October 2015.
Unfortunately, with the wide array of university and collegiate options today ranging from four-year universities, to the military, to two-year community colleges , to specialized career training academies, and gap years means the directions your friend group can be pulled senior year are endless. In my case, my two best friends and I all went our different ways. One began her journey as a Marine in South Carolina and eventually Virginia Beach, and the other drove off to a state university in Pennsylvania. I stayed home in New Jersey to attend a private Catholic college in my backyard. We spent our last summer together treasuring every moment we had through spontaneous beach days, Dunkin Donuts visits, and endless car rides with the radio up. We wanted to grow as close as possible before we broke apart. We knew that summer after high school graduation would never come again. Of course, we would spend other days at the beach and visit Dunkin Donuts as adults but during those blissful moments in time, all that mattered was each other and our friendship.
The first few months we were faced with the challenge of maintaining our unity with miles between us. At first, it was tough. During this time, my previously stated breakdown occurred. Our routines differed and ultimately we formed new friend groups. Regardless, good friends always have the ability to be able to pick up the conversation wherever they’ve left off, and we had that power. Our group chat was always buzzing with funny stories, pictures, and gossip. Technology was and still is crucial in keeping us together.
Our first Christmas break came and went, complete with our reunion. The Marine best friend surprised us all and came back to our hometown for the holidays. Naturally, we fell back in sync over Taylor Ham egg and cheese sandwiches and on those same car rides. January brought another departure, but we all left recharged with our healthy doses of best friend love.
In the months since the New Year began, we have all kept in contact about our days, monumental occasions, and frustrations with the crazy new people in our daily lives. Of course, there are weeks where our worlds are turning so quickly that we don’t communicate, but that is normal. Sometimes we are all up to our eyeballs in work and obligations. Now, nearing a year since our triumphant walk across that graduation stage I am proud to have the same wonderful girls by my side. We still have the same senses of humor, dynamics, and expectations of each other. I’ve met so many new people at my school but none of them are on the level of the two girls I grew up with and am lucky to call my sisters. Just as we realized last summer with our toes in the ocean and smiles on our faces, things will never be the same; but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad.
In any friendship, state lines dissolve when someone needs help, advice, or love. Our support system for each other is stronger than ever, and I am so grateful for that. It is absolutely possible to be a best friend in another state. Sometimes, a simple text or comical Snapchat filter is the ray of sunshine your friend needs. When you have the time, enjoy each other on FaceTime, surprise each other with visits, or hand write letters. No act of love is ever too small. Growing up is a scary experience for any college student, but doing it with the people who have had your back since childhood is important. Distance never overrides friendship. I love my best friends and I will keep them close to my heart wherever life takes me.
