Leaving for college is one of the most emotionally draining milestones that one can endure in their lifetime. Every simple activity becomes an unnecessary sentimental moment, and things that you normally wouldn’t even think twice about become a part of the long series of “the last time I’ll ____.” My entire senior year was filled with these moments, like the last time I’ll eat lunch in this cafeteria, or the last time I’ll make the drive home from school. The string of lasts become so emotionally exhausting that eventually, it becomes hard to even think about leaving without shedding a few tears.

I was so excited for college, and rightfully so, it’s been an awesome 10 weeks. When the last day before move in came around, I remember packing up my stuff and spending time with friends and family. It was all bittersweet, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the moment when I’d have to say goodbye to someone who had become one of my best friends over the past four years. Most of my other friends that I said goodbye to were going to college as well, and although we wouldn’t be in the same place this upcoming year, I knew that they would all be okay. I knew that they would all go off and do great things to grow, meet new friends, and have a blast in the process. But this one wasn’t going to college, she was going into her senior year, stuck there. It didn’t occur to me that while I was going into what should be one of the most exciting times of my life, my best friend was dreading her next year, a year without me and with anxiety for what was ahead of her. This didn’t hit me until she drove up to my house around ten at night to say our goodbyes. I looked into her eyes and saw her sadness, and I shared it with her in the moment. We both broke down crying and it was at that moment when I knew things would never be the same. I experienced the same feeling when another best friend left me the previous year to go to college, being left behind is hard. Sure I would come home often and visit and we would always have a relationship, but I wouldn’t live in the same city as her. We wouldn’t walk the halls of the same high school, or play on the same soccer team, or be within a ten-minute drive of each other anymore. Growing up is hard, and these goodbyes are something that naturally has to come, but I forgot to consider how hard it must be on the other side, being left behind.

Best friend, I want you to know that I miss you so much. I miss late night sonic runs and watching movies for hours and sometimes not doing anything at all. I miss the endless inside jokes, the crying, and the laughing, the deep talks that felt like they were straight out of a coming of age movie. Although I don’t get the opportunity to check in with you that often, I want you to know that you are so incredibly loved and you will always be one of my best friends. At times it may seem like I’ve moved on, made new friends, or that I’m simply too busy for you, and I understand. Those things may be true, but I’m never too far away to come home again. I’m a phone call away, and in extreme cases, a three-and-a-half-hour drive away. I know that high school can be hard, especially without me there to fight you at soccer practice. If you’re ever feeling down, or feel like I don’t care anymore, just know it’s not true. Know that our good times aren’t being replaced with my new ones. No number of new friends or new experiences will ever overflow the memories we’ve made, just remember that. The weeks until college breaks may seem long and impossible to wait for, but know that when I get home I’ll be waiting for that late night slushie run, and I’ll be so incredibly excited to jump right into where we left off. Remember that even when the distance keeps us away from being in each other’s lives, you know too much for me to cut you out, even if I wanted to. I miss you best friend, and you’ll never be able to get rid of me.

If you have a best friend back at home, make sure to give them a call every once in a while. Life is too short to lose good friendships.