Just this morning, a Facebook friend shared a collection of Snapchat videos of a trainer saying stuff that was less than motivating. At first, it was calling his client, a woman named Elizabeth, a slacker for cheating on her diet. I am a big believer in the concept of a cheat day. When he informs that she has had three, not going to lie, I was leaning towards his side. Part of getting the body you want is learning the concept of moderation. Then it got to the second clip of her leaning against a toilet, and him urging her to “throw it up" - that was when I was a bit perturbed. I was equally bothered by the caption that my friend put on which was: “I need this guy in my life." A lot of people are more responsive to tough love than others, but I thought this was taking it too far. Was it a joke? Probably. Was it funny? I did not think so. Obviously, I might be in the minority there.

The fact of the matter is, when it comes to asking someone for their assistance to guide you through the process of losing weight and getting healthier, the last thing you want is a bully. Someone calling you names, claiming you will be the one covered up on the beach, acting like the word “fat” is equal to “evil” – that is not good. I do not want to get all participation-trophy on you, but with a lot of people – including myself when I started – are intimidated enough going into a gym by themselves, with no idea of what they are doing. Couple that mindset with the fear of being laughed at by some meat-headed lunk making a snarky comment on how you can pay for the gym with the money you will save on quitting the drive thru cold turkey. If you ever see that guy, I want you to simply ignore him. Turn around, walk away, take your business elsewhere-preferably with someone who sees you as a human, and not a reality show challenge.

Granted, can I be snarky? Oh yeah. Do I have a messed up sense of humor? Totally. I remember a few years ago, I went to this gym who thought it would be funny, to have a Facebook promo reading “Your pants say Yoga, but your ass says McDonald’s” and that still makes me laugh. The reason why I thought that was funny, but this was not, was because I knew the guy who posted it, and I knew he would never in a thousand years do anything other than make a short joke at me. Unlike this guy in the video who pushed his girlfriend into the water at ten minutes to midnight, and when she thought she was drowning he told her it was the thought of a Big Mac wearing her down.

What to look for in a coach or trainer? Well, first of all, if you are as serious as you say you are about working out, you are going to see them a lot. So, at least make sure they are not a body shaming lunatic, and make sure that you can stand to deal with them for a few hours a week. Stay away from anyone who is telling you to abstain from one or two more food groups for an extended period of time, or someone pushing a juice cleanse (you know how I feel about those). Most importantly, it has to be someone that will keep you from going over the edge health-wise. I once trained under someone who thought it would be a good idea for my five foot three frame to get down to 105, and that it would be “completely normal." Just because someone claims to be a professional, does not mean you should trust them blindly. Look online, ask for references, client reviews-someone who does not gain anything by telling you what it is like to go under this person’s program. On the other side of that face, do not go for anyone who coddles you. If you can do ten pushups on Monday, they should be urging you to do fifteen on Tuesday and so on. If you are starting to work out and care about your diet, please be aware of this one fact: if you take nothing else from my writing, or a conversation with me just know, you need to be guided out of your comfort zone — not shoved out.