My whole life I have been a human sidewalk. I have let people walk all over and have never stood up for myself. Nineteen years later, here I am deciding to stop being a human sidewalk. To stop letting countless footprints attack my body. The first step in ensuring that people don’t walk all over you is to stop letting them.
You must learn to say NO and stick to it, don’t cave in. You do not have to explain your reasoning as "it is no one’s business but your own." Simply saying “I’m sorry I can’t right now” is good enough. A lot of the time being a human sidewalk comes with the baggage of being afraid of confrontation. I know I still struggle with this. I still struggle with using my voice and making sure my opinion is heard, but you know what? It is a process worth going through. You must learn to make sure your opinion is heard so that you are not taken advantage of. It is hard to live your own life if you are under the shadow of accommodating everyone else. By allowing people to walk all over you and take advantage of you is not the way to live a happy life.
Learn to voice your opinion even when you feel like you can’t. It is easier than done. Believe me I know. Stop trying to please everyone. I have succumbed to the term “people pleaser” my whole life and while I used to think it was the right thing to do, I recently learned that it isn’t. If you try to do what everyone wants and ignore how that makes you feel, you will drive yourself to your breaking point.
For the past 19 years, I have allowed myself to be at disposal for everyone. I put everyone’s issues before my own. I tended to push aside my needs for those of others. I tended to live every day to please everyone except myself. While I was just trying to be the best friend I could be for others, I forgot to be a best friend to myself.
This semester, I have learned to take time for myself and I realize that it is necessary. No one can take time for themselves and help everyone else. We are not super human. It is impossible. I have learned that it is OKAY to tell someone that you can’t deal with something right now. I have learned that it is OKAY to take some time to watch Netflix by yourself and not being surrounded by everyone. I have learned that it is OKAY to ask for help when you need it. I have learned to start being my own best friend. Be there for others but don’t forget to be there for yourself. Like the infamous Tom Haverford in "Parks and Rec" once said, “Treat Yo' Self.”
Photo Credit: 1, 2, 3
