I thought that I'd write this because for some unknown reason I feel like I can't talk about stuff like this, Divorce. For some reason people beat around the bush when it comes to this topic. When you talk about it they feel the need to give you comfort. But, I don't need comfort from anyone about my parents divorce. I've accepted it like it is.
My parents have been separated since I was in the 5th grade. I have to admit even though I put up a strong front, it did bother me some. In all honesty, I will have to say that I did blame their divorce on some things that happened in my life. But, their divorce didn't really cause them. I was just a child looking for excuses.
I went to a public school in the middle of my home town. Sadly, divorce wasn't a big deal growing up. A lot of peoples parents were divorced. Some kids it effected more than others. Some kids could just hide their emotions better than others. But, that doesn't mean it didn't effect them.
Not having my parents around eventually became normal. There was nothing I could do about it so there was no need for me to stress over it.
I constantly felt like I was stuck in the middle of them. I love my mama to death. But, I also love my daddy just as much. They were steady trying to out do one another. It got aggravating.
The worst time was the holidays. Every holiday we had to split it. One of them always got mad. They both wanted Christmas day. They never wanted to share it.
Between everything that went wrong between them it was always ultimately taken out on me. They were both hurt for what they put each other through.
I put most of my focus in things like; writing, dance, work, and school. The things I enjoyed doing were things like writing and dance which helped me keep my mind off of my family problems and myself.
My relationship with my mama just went down hill for a period of time. I couldn't be around her much without arguing and I got to the point where I just wanted to move out. I moved in with my grandparents and that caused enough problems its self.
My relationship with my dad was never the best. We get along for periods of time but never for long periods of time.
I'm still certainly living with my grandparents and I'm focusing on my writing. I'm working and finishing school. But, above all, I am happier than I've been in a long time. I'm working on building a better relationship with my parents.
Over all, the divorce between my parents made me stronger.
