In January 2013, my mom got a call from a relative, letting us know that my cousin had her baby girl. She would be the first of the great-grandkids, and we would have to wait until we came to visit in the summer to meet her.

Growing up in Vermont, I never realized just how much I missed out on, and how much my family in Indiana missed out on my life as well. I always wondered why my mom cried when we’d leave to go back home, “We’ll see Grandma and Grandpa next year,” I’d always tell my older sister from the back seat of the minivan. I couldn’t comprehend that this wasn’t really normal. Most kids my age saw both sides of their family all the time, not two weeks in the summer every year.

After living in Indiana for four years now, Thanksgiving is always a hard time for me. I don’t like “big Thanksgivings”, as I grew up watching the parade in the mornings, then having lunch with my family, my older sister’s dad, and my aunt & uncle. At most, that was eight people around a table, versus having multiple tables set up now for all of our extended family to sit at. I realize now how lonely that must’ve been for my mom to have such small Thanksgivings, considering she grew up with these huge family Thanksgivings.

Instead of focusing on how much I reminisce on Thanksgiving, I try to think about how thankful I am to be here…

I’m thankful that I get to witness my little cousins grow up. I get to hold them, make them smile, and hear them start to say my name for the first time. When I’m feeling down at college, I can always look forward to seeing them when I come home.

I’m thankful that I get to be close by to my Grandpa. I live five minutes away from his smile and his stories. I can put corn out for squirrels and help him fill up his bird feeders. I got to take him to some of his radiation appointments this summer, and I got to see him celebrate his last appointment, by ringing the bell the Urology place has.

I’m glad I get to be close to my family. I get to spend my weekends chilling at home with one of my aunts, once she comes home from grocery shopping with my mom. I get to help another aunt around the house with chores and technology things. I can give my uncle more ideas for banter with my mom, which is always fun to watch. I get to go to work and have surprise visits from my family sometimes too.

I wonder what life would’ve been like had I stayed, I look at it from an outside perspective, and I know that I would’ve missed so much. Seven (soon to be eight) great-grandkids, supporting my Grandpa, and just having the opportunity to include more of my family into my everyday life. I think of these things daily, and I’m forever grateful.