If you have ever been in a relationship with a military member you know that it is unlike any other relationship you have ever experienced. It is like your entire life flips upside down and you must learn how to handle it immediately. I went from single to married in the practically un-graspable short time period of nine months. My now husband is a submariner in the Navy and being with him has quite literally changed my life forever.

1. You learn patience.

Not hearing from your significant other for days at a time can be hard. If they are deployed you can be subjected to the world of shoddy email for months at a time. We must teach ourselves to take a deep breath and continue on with our lives instead of dwelling.

2. Every moment counts.

In the last four days my husband and I have had an hour together. I had been gone for two days, got home at 10 p.m., saw him and said goodnight and he was off to work bright and early the next morning. We haven't talked or seen each other now in over 30 hours. This is so common in the military world and we learn to enjoy the little time we do get. We must give extra kisses, extra affirmations, and linger in those hugs just a little longer.

3. Words sometimes DO speak as loud as actions.

This is because sometimes we don't have the ability to rely on actions. We can't get text or call reminders during the day of how much we are loved. Breakfast in bed is not quite as fun at 5:30 when their alarm goes off. Cleaning the house for you isn't always an option when they just got off a 36-hour shift and want to sleep. So many of the things "civilian" relationships rely on to prove their love just aren't possible for the military couple. Even more so, if your S.O. is on deployment we rely on the words they gave us before they left and we cling to those promises and "I love you"s.

4. Your partner always comes before yourself.

Your partner is owned by the military, so while they may want to put you first it is not always their choice. If they get called to duty or have to stay late your plans can just see themselves out.

5. You may also have a love affair with your crock pot.

Anyone who lives with someone in the military knows that planning dinner is impossible. Some days I love my crock pot as much as I love my husband because it keeps dinner warm even when he gets off hours later than expected.

6. We love harder.

We have to. To commit to someone in the military means to sacrifice things from your life daily. We delve into these relationships only to realize that thinking your man looks cute in uniform is not enough to keep the love alive. We end up moving, leaving family and friends behind for our spouse's job, spending hours on the phone late at night because it is the only chance we get to talk...the list goes on. Surface level feelings aren't enough, we have to be all in.

7. We must learn independence in a whole new way.

I always imagined myself being married to someone who killed all the spiders in our house, and who was home to take the garbage out on Tuesday nights. But, it's official, I have killed more spiders than I ever thought I would and when my husband isn't home on a Tuesday I have to take the garbage out. You also have to make decisions on your own. I wish I could talk to my husband about everything and clear things with him first but sometimes we have to make executive decisions and hope for the best. I terminated our lease agreement the other day and, "surprise honey we need to pack up and move again." It's not the kind of independence some of us would choose; it is the kind we are forced into and it makes us so much stronger.

8. We are willing to drop our plans in a second if it means more time with our significant other.

If my husband gets off work a few hours early I will cancel my dentist appointment and pay the cancellation fee just to get a little more time with him. When he came back from deployment I actually sold my Justin Bieber concert tickets to pick him up and he didn't even end up getting home that day. I am not alone here; every second together is precious. We will do anything to spend that time with our loved ones.

9. Our relationships move at lightening speed because they have to.

Our society seems to set certain time limits on love. "You should date for at least two years before getting engaged, or you should be engaged for at least a year before you get married." However, the reality is that we can't put a timeline on love and we certainly can't put a timeline on the military. A common theme in this military world is getting married in a courthouse so that we can move in with our spouses or so that they won't have to reenlist or because we are tired of being apart. Whatever the reason may be our timelines generally differ from the norm. I know mine did. It is hard to understand why when you aren't in the situation but for those of us who are we know the most important thing is making it work with the person that we love.

10. We trust.

A military relationship is built on trust. We spend the majority of our time apart, with little to no communication. It is important to know that when you see each other again you will still only have eyes for each other. We can't keep tabs on each other's whereabouts or randomly check in, we just have to believe that the other person is doing what they say they are.

11. We know fighting isn't worth it.

Of course we are still going to fight, but making up before bed is even more important. Our time is precious so the last thing we want to do is waste it arguing. Because of this, "I'm sorry" comes easier and "I forgive you," even more so.