Relationships are hard, long-distance relationships are harder, but military relationships are probably the hardest of all. It takes a devoted couple to get through it together. While love can carry you and your significant other through many situations, there are probably days when it just doesn’t feel like enough. But, when times get tough, faith, trust, and most importantly that love you have for each other can bring you through both the good and the bad.

While yes, the romance itself is a fairytale in its own right, it’s not the fairytale that the movies and books make it out to be. Letter writing is romantic and the reunions are occasions where I have never experienced more love, but it is not a fantasy. Every moment with him is like magic, but it’s not because life is like a Nicholas Sparks novel. It’s because love is real, despite the circumstances.

There isn’t much romance when you haven’t heard from him in weeks since he isn’t allowed to call. It’s hard to not be able to hear his voice or to see his face over FaceTime but I treasure the moments when I do get to hear his voice and see his smile.

It always feels like there’s something missing on birthdays and holidays, and that’s because there is. I know he’s not going to be around for certain milestones in my life. Will he be able to attend my college graduation? We don’t know. Will he be home when I turn 21? No clue. It sucks – there’s no other way of putting it. But it works both ways: I won’t always be able to see every graduation or ceremony for him, either. And, to be fair, birthdays and holidays are probably worse for him. While I’m surrounded by loved ones (with the exception of him), he may only have a few comrades and battle buddies to spend time with. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s not ideal. He may spend birthdays in his bunk on base or Christmas deployed in the Middle East.

Sometimes I feel selfish that I feel lonely or sad that he’s not around, but I know that by standing by him, I’m supporting his career and his dreams. I know, wherever he is, he’s my biggest cheerleader, too.

Suddenly, you’re not on your own time – you’re on the military’s time. Oftentimes, I feel totally helpless, because nothing about this relationship is under my control. He is in the hands of the military, so I am too, and there’s nothing I can do when plans change. When you haven’t seen each other in six months and you get three days of the weekend together, you have six months of catching up to do in just 72 hours. Every second of that time is cherished – every hour we spend together feels like a millisecond, but that one moment can contain what feels like years’ worth of love.

It’s true what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder. There is nothing more satisfying than being able to talk to the man you love and hug and kiss him hello. Suddenly, when you’re together again, it is like time flew by and distance no longer matters. Military dating is not for the faint of heart – it’s for the strongest couples out there. And if you’re able to be in one of these amazing relationships, hold onto it. If your love is strong, things will get better. Know that he loves you and is waiting for you too.