The Emotional Stages of Letting Toxic People Go

The Emotional Stages of Letting Toxic People Go

Sometimes things have to fall apart in order to make room for better things.
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Losing people in your life is hard; it will always be hard. Especially when you think that those people are the ones that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe it’s your best friend, a significant other, or in some cases both. One of the worst feelings ever is gathering up the courage to face your issues with someone, and then have them turn the situation around to make you feel bad for saying anything. They turn it around to make themselves the victim.

No matter who it is, you should never let someone make you feel bad for expressing the reasons they make you upset. That is an obvious red flag that so many people, including myself, ignore. Afterwards, you feel pathetic and wrong for feeling upset. You convince yourself that you're in the wrong and you shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. Somehow, you make excuses for them in your head and you accept what they are doing to you. You believe that the love they have for you is so much greater than the pain you’re feeling.

Don’t do that to yourself. If something or someone is making you feel upset or hurt, you should never just sit around and hope that one day it will eventually get better. Stop making excuses for people. Stop letting them control you. Stop letting them make you feel like you are small. If someone wants to be with you, if someone truly wants the best for you and cares about you, they won’t do things to inflict pain on you. You want people in your life that lift you up every day and let you see how important and loved you are.

Looking back at my broken relationships and friendships, I wanted to cling to those people so badly when everything went to hell. I believed that they were the people that were supposed to be in my life forever and I was scared to lose them. I made every excuse in the book for them treating me the way that they did when in reality, I should have left them a long time ago. I struggled every day with losing the people that I lost. After all the heartbreak and emptiness I felt, I realized that they were toxic people in my life. They didn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated. I am someone who puts everything I have into my relationships and they didn’t give me half the heart that I gave to them.

You should never have to question how people feel about you. You should never feel guilty for being upset about something. If someone is treating you in a way that makes you feel bad, then you shouldn’t let it keep happening. Start standing up for yourself and realize that you deserve better. There are people out there that would give you the world and you deserve nothing less. Surround yourself with people that give as much into the relationship as you do. You are worth so much more than settling into a miserable relationship because you think you don’t deserve more than that.

Not everyone you lose is a loss. Sometimes relationships need to end in order to move forward with your life. Some of the best people show up in your life when you least expect it. Find those people that will do nothing but accept, support, and love you for who you are. Holding onto toxic relationships does nothing but destroy you in the end. Let go of anyone who has ever hurt you, made you feel small, or made you feel like you were worth nothing. Find it in your heart to learn how to love yourself first and then you will open the door to find relationships that will truly benefit you. One of the best feelings is finally letting go of the people that weren't good for you in the first place.

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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I Thought I Was Invincible But Then I Tore My ACL

i had to fall to get back up again

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Track has been my favorite hobby since I was in elementary school. Nothing could compare to the wind rustling through my hair as I ran, the sun shining down on me, the feeling of complete bliss and accomplishment as I crossed the finish line. Every spring, I lay in wait for the elementary track meet where I would prove I was the fastest girl in my grade (there was only two of us, so winning didn't really prove anything). Every race was a chance for me to do better–to become better.

High school rolled around and I was still as committed to track as I was when I was eight. The season was going well and I was on my way to do big things. The only thing on my mind was state; I didn't even think about the possibility of injury. The sprint relay came along, and like always, I passed all the competition with alarming speed and grace. My pride swelled with each distant cheer from my teammates and friends. It was just about time to hand off to my second leg when things went horribly wrong. I ran up on my teammate which caused me to step out of my lane. Panicking, I pulled my leg back into my lane and stopped. I heard a loud POP! and I went down in searing pain. My coach and other teammates ran up to me after the race was finished to help me off the track.

My coach couldn't determine what was wrong with me, so I hobbled over to our setup to rest until my next event. I ran the 800 relay with none of my former grace and ease, but I finished and help qualify my team for the area. That's when my life turned upside down. I went from being a regional qualifier to not being able to run in a matter of minutes, and I didn't know how to contain myself. This sparked months of rage and despair which made it hard for others to be around me.

Eventually, I started to realize that my sports career wasn't the only trait I possessed that made me unique. There were so many extracurriculars I was able to invest my time in when I wasn't able to do sports. It took some time, but I realized that my identity doesn't come from the organizations I'm a part of, but the type of person I am. Through my recovery time, I was able to get to know myself and rediscover some old hobbies, like reading. I was also equipped with the knowledge that good things don't come effortlessly. Instead, I have to fight for the things I desire.

The most important lesson I learned from tearing my ACL was this: I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined. My determination to overcome this set back showed me a type of resilience and persistence I never knew I possessed. I am strong, not because of my physical abilities, rather, my mental capabilities. These are the few lessons I hold in my heart as I finish up this year's track season. Events didn't play out the way I imagined but I'm thankful for every opportunity I've had to do what I love.

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