Losing people in your life is hard; it will always be hard. Especially when you think that those people are the ones that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe it’s your best friend, a significant other, or in some cases both. One of the worst feelings ever is gathering up the courage to face your issues with someone, and then have them turn the situation around to make you feel bad for saying anything. They turn it around to make themselves the victim.
No matter who it is, you should never let someone make you feel bad for expressing the reasons they make you upset. That is an obvious red flag that so many people, including myself, ignore. Afterwards, you feel pathetic and wrong for feeling upset. You convince yourself that you're in the wrong and you shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. Somehow, you make excuses for them in your head and you accept what they are doing to you. You believe that the love they have for you is so much greater than the pain you’re feeling.
Don’t do that to yourself. If something or someone is making you feel upset or hurt, you should never just sit around and hope that one day it will eventually get better. Stop making excuses for people. Stop letting them control you. Stop letting them make you feel like you are small. If someone wants to be with you, if someone truly wants the best for you and cares about you, they won’t do things to inflict pain on you. You want people in your life that lift you up every day and let you see how important and loved you are.
Looking back at my broken relationships and friendships, I wanted to cling to those people so badly when everything went to hell. I believed that they were the people that were supposed to be in my life forever and I was scared to lose them. I made every excuse in the book for them treating me the way that they did when in reality, I should have left them a long time ago. I struggled every day with losing the people that I lost. After all the heartbreak and emptiness I felt, I realized that they were toxic people in my life. They didn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated. I am someone who puts everything I have into my relationships and they didn’t give me half the heart that I gave to them.
You should never have to question how people feel about you. You should never feel guilty for being upset about something. If someone is treating you in a way that makes you feel bad, then you shouldn’t let it keep happening. Start standing up for yourself and realize that you deserve better. There are people out there that would give you the world and you deserve nothing less. Surround yourself with people that give as much into the relationship as you do. You are worth so much more than settling into a miserable relationship because you think you don’t deserve more than that.
Not everyone you lose is a loss. Sometimes relationships need to end in order to move forward with your life. Some of the best people show up in your life when you least expect it. Find those people that will do nothing but accept, support, and love you for who you are. Holding onto toxic relationships does nothing but destroy you in the end. Let go of anyone who has ever hurt you, made you feel small, or made you feel like you were worth nothing. Find it in your heart to learn how to love yourself first and then you will open the door to find relationships that will truly benefit you. One of the best feelings is finally letting go of the people that weren't good for you in the first place.
