Friendship post high school

How Friendship Changes After High School

I think the "High School Musical 3" spring musical says it best; "high school wasn't meant to last forever."


Whether you only graduated a couple of months ago or it's already been a year or two, you may have noticed the people around you are changing.

Kindergarten through 12th grade was up to your parents.

They're the ones who decided where to live and what school to enroll you in. Basically, everything in your life has been because of the choices they made. However, the same is true for your fellow classmates. You all wound up there because of the life and career path your parents chose, and that might be the only thing you have in common. Of course, it's possible to find some of your best friends this way, but it's okay if some of your best relationships come later in life due to the choices you make for yourself.

While you're still in high school you can begin working, which means an entirely new group of friends/coworkers. Even if you're working in your hometown you all decided to get a job at the same place. Also, coworkers are forced to work with each other, but there's nothing in contracts about seeing each other outside of work. However, one of the best parts of getting a job is all the connections and friendships you make.

Having someone to talk about all the workplace gossip will instantly make your days so much better.

Not to mention you all have at least a vague idea of what each other is earning, so there's no awkward going out to places people can't afford.

Once high school is over your entire social circle is going to change. Even if you listened to others' advice when choosing your school, it was ultimately, for whatever reason, where you belonged.

Maybe it was for completely different reasons, but everyone else there also decided this was the place to be. It might not happen right away, but the people you meet in college are going to lead to very different connections and relationships than people you met beforehand.

Right away you know you have something in common with the people you meet in college.

For starters the people in your classes are (probably) going to have similar interests as you, I mean you did enroll in the same class. Also, if it's a major specific class then I'm positive you already have something in common. Not to mention, that by whatever means (savings, loans, scholarship, or any combination of those) you can all afford the same university.

While it's impossible to predict when or where in life you will meet someone who will change your life, when you get older and start to make decisions on your own, finding these people gets easier. Life is unpredictable and you literally have no control on when people come into your life, but if high school didn't give you the forever friends you were hoping for, there's still a lot of time.

Take it from someone who knows, your social status in high school will be completely forgotten the day after graduation.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.


Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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