A lot of times in our lives we have these moments that significantly affect us. They cause such a rush of emotions that sometimes we just can't stop ourselves from getting upset. This can be anything from a confrontation, to something much more serious such as a death or end of a relationship. Although it's human nature to get upset over things, in hindsight sometimes flying off the handle can cause more damage than it does good. It's better to really think and process before we speak back. In reality, whatever you say cannot be taken back in the end. You can apologize, but it's still already been said. Words are powerful — they can make or break us at some points. That is why we have to try to think before we make statements. These are some things you can do when you're in a high tension situation to get yourself to rationalize what you're saying.
1. BREATHE!
Remember that breathing is good. By slowing your heart rate down, you're able to come back down to Earth and rationalize the situation. This way you can get the facts together and figure out your next move before you say something you'll regret.
2. Walk it off.
Sometimes just escaping the situation can help. Taking a walk or getting out of that space allows you to cool down and start processing before you say something you actually don't mean. It's a great way to relieve the pressure and stress so you have your own time to deal with it, which is what everyone needs sometimes.
3. Talk it out.
Sometimes talking things out with a trusted friend or family member can be beneficial in this type of situation. You're able to kind of see the situation from another perspective. This allows you to see things in a way that you haven't thought of before. Sometimes when you're too closely involved or invested in a situation, you need that extra perspective to give you a quick reality check as you overthink.
4. Focus on something else.
Confrontation used to be especially hard for me to handle. Something that helped was focusing on something other than the current situation at hand. If I focused on something like my hands or something in the background, it became easy for me to distance myself from the situation for a bit, but still, listen. This way I could still take in all of the information, but separate it so I can process it later with a clearer head.
5. Don't make assumptions.
My father used to always say that if you assume, "You make an ass out of u and me." Now, I know he was just spelling out assume and as corny as it is, there is a harsh reality to it. It's so easy for us to let our emotions take control and just jump to an immediate defensive mode. But, when we jump to conclusions like that, we are narrowing our minds to the situation. By making these assumptions we don't have the full story. This means that we could be missing crucial information that could easily change the situation.
Logically, these are great things to do as we think about dealing with such strong emotions, however, it's human nature to immediately react when something like this happens. We go straight into defense mode sometimes. Although it can be hard to stop sometimes, some of these tips can be beneficial in calming yourself down or reminding yourself that there's always more to the story.
