Introducing "Court Culture", from the 5'7 white guy who definitely knows his basketball.
Shhh, don’t look now, but there’s a new hero emerging. A hero New York deserves. Born in the darkness of missed playoffs, molded in the shambles of the Phil Jackson era. It’s Hoodie Melo.
We’ve witnessed the rise and fall of alter ego heroes in the NBA before. Cliff Paul saving cars while simultaneously dropping 25 and 10 on the Lakers, Uncle Drew taking kids back to school over in Cleveland. Now, the east coast has their own.
Overshadowed by all the turmoil in the Knicks organization, Carmelo Anthony has lost his place among the top players in the NBA. People forget the once legendary showdown he had against LeBron in 2014, where he dropped 40 on the King, including this dagger in OT to ice it. Now its all trade rumors and talk of how NY has lost their love for the star.
On the heels of social media fame, and pickup game fables, it seems the attempted "Carmelo Cena" move has created a monster, that you can barely see.
Hoodie Melo has taken court culture by storm this offseason after videos from his personal page, his trainers, and fans alike have surfaced on Instagram showing the 10x All-Star and former cornrow killer in action. Although the hoodie tied around his face nearly renders him unrecognizable, rumored sightings of this new hooded figure running pickup games and dunking on fools are spreading as far and wide as fidget spinners did. These comments by his teammate and all-around credible source may be all you need to see to be convinced.
“Hoodie Melo doesn’t play with a conscience.” – JR Smith
“Hoodie Melo can look at the eclipse without glasses.” also said by JR Smith.*
“Hoodie Melo could make Chance sell his music.” also also said by JR Smith.*
“Hoodie Melo could down 4 bottles of Henny and still drop 50.” possibly, maybe said by JR Smith.*
*JR 100% did not say those last three so don’t quote me. Well, maybe that last one. But I digress. Don’t believe JR about his new teammates capabilities? 2k does. Hoodie Melo is out here rated a 98 while normal, boring, Carmelo Anthony is a mere 84. Sadly, they have not confirmed we can actually play as this Melo… Where’s Ronnie 2k and how can we make Hoodie Melo a playable character in this next game? Make him an unlockable Blacktop character at the very least.
Give me Hoodie Melo, Uncle Drew, and gang-sign John Wall and drive me to the bank. Take flu-game Jordan, half-mouthpiece Steph, and throw in black facemask Kobe and I’m still not sweating. That man is a 98! Smooth like butta’ from the low block. 21-0.
Basically, I’m sayin’ Hoodie Melo belongs in the new 2k. Do it for the people.
Check out some reactions to the NBA’s new hero here, and here, and an early glimpse here.
This the stuff we need to entertain us before the NFL starts.
#StayMe7o
