I was told that my introversion would stifle me in life, that the only way of excelling was honing an extroverted personality. I battled with embracing my introverted nature, not only with myself but with others. I would grow worrisome that opportunities, love and friendships wouldn’t come to a person like me. I then realized that the disparities between the successful and the unsuccessful aren’t in their introverted or extroverted personalities but instead in the consistency of their efforts.

Some part of me has always felt displaced from this world; I longed for a place where I could be me and feel comfortable. I built that place brick by brick with the friendships I’ve acquired over time. I created a space free of judgment and criticism. A space where the tears of laughter cured my social anxieties, and confiding secrets to friends didn’t leave a residue of regret. Being introverted didn’t push me away from curating friendships, it propelled me to build friendships of substance that mattered.

I would look to the women who were successful in love and see no reflection of myself. I’d dress myself in the skin of the women who I thought would propel me to the type of relationship I wanted. I pressured myself to carry the façade of a personality that wasn’t my own. Time and many failed relationships revealed that introverts and extroverts hold the same parallels in love. No matter what personality traits you carry, you can’t escape heartbreak. Embracing my introversion revealed a quiet confidence about me that now whispers in the ears of men when I enter a room. Introversion doesn’t limit me in love, in gave me clarity for the intentions men hold.

My driven personality does not juxtapose my introversion. There’s this idea that introverts don’t crave social change, competition, or exploration, but instead prefer reclusion and not being functioning members of society. I’ve been labeled standoffish and a snob only for not choosing to absorb the energies of others in the workplace. The growth I’ve experienced in life and in work have been a direct result of my effort. Although building relationships is important, I’ve never experienced a situation where my quotas haven’t met higher opportunities.

The impression that introverts holds in our society is far from the experiences I’ve held in love, friendships and opportunities. I am dynamic enough to thrive in isolation and exist in a community. I can no longer apologize for what I embrace for introversion has given me the silent confidence to concur love, the consciousness to build friendships and the laser focus to succeed in work.