When people find out I was homeschooled, their reaction is generally one of shock and confusion. Sometimes it’s followed by genuine questions about how homeschooling actually works (which I love to talk about and am always eager to answer), but sometimes, normally from a place of well-intentioned ignorance, people end up saying the following offensive things:
1. “That’s so crazy! Sorry, I just.... You’re so good with people though!”
Thank you? But also no thank you? Break the stereotype that homeschoolers are all socially awkward 2k18.
2. “How did you have friends?”
Kind of a valid question since being homeschooled means you're almost exclusively with your family? But there are also these things called co-ops. And church. And sports. And other extra-curricular activities wherein you can meet other human beings. It's wild, I know.
3. “It must’ve been nice to sit around in your pajamas all day.”
Actually, it was. This one isn't even that offensive. It just reminds me of happier, more carefree times when looking professional wasn't my first thought in choosing an outfit.
4. “Wow, I wish I was homeschooled. That must’ve been so easy. No homework!”
It was! Never had any homework in my life! Never did school! Never learned anything! It was great!
5. In response to me talking about the difficulty level of any tests or homework I had pre-college: “Yeah, but your mom was your teacher. You probably got all As. If you even got grades.”
See: co-ops, where you have teachers that aren't your parents.
Also see: homework, tests, and grading rubrics. Not always As, buddy.
6. “Wow, you were homeschooled? But… you’re so pretty.”
7. “Wow, you were homeschooled? But… you don’t wear jean skirts.”
I do not. Because it's not the 90s anymore.
8. “Do you know what that is?” every time a pop culture reference is made.
Uhhh, do you know what this is??? *Makes some super smart reference to science or literature or history that leaves you stunned because I definitely know things, trust me*
9. “I could never teach my kid. I’m not a teacher.”
Neither was mine? She was a nurse before she became a stay-at-home mom? And that’s not really how that works? Cue me having to correct someone’s view of how homeschooling works for the millionth time.
10. “So did you, like, live on a farm or out in the country or something? Is that why you were homeschooled?”
It more had to do with how much our education system has failed the American people and the fact that my parents love us and wanted to spend time with us instead of sending us off for hours on end five days a week. But if me being a farmer helps it make more sense...
11. The sarcastic “Did you ever get in trouble with the principal?”
To which the appropriate response is only ever forced laughter, because I've heard that joke probably a thousand times.
12. And the inevitable follow-up: “Were you the class valedictorian?”
No, Karen, because I had four siblings and had to fight for that position. Physically. I don’t know how to describe it other than it being very similar to the Hunger Games. I still have a chunk missing from my right arm, so thanks for bringing up that painful memory.
13. “But if you’re homeschooled, you had, like, a very limited view taught to you. Everything was biased. I bet you were taught that evolution isn’t real.”
But hey, literally everything in all of life is biased. Homeschoolers and those attending a Christian school may get information from a biased, Christian perspective, but those going to a public school get a biased, atheistic perspective. You were taught that evolution is real and creationism is nonsense propagated by the Church in an effort to keep control over the nation, and we were taught all the proofs against evolution (as well as evolution itself being an attempt to cut God out of everything) and how creation reveals the loving heart of the Father. Perspectives are everywhere! They affect everything, including science! No one is exempt from having received a biased education! Glad we cleared that up.
14. “How many siblings do you have? At least five, right?”
I mean… yes. I have four. But I know plenty of other homeschoolers where it was just them and their one other sibling, so.
15. “Oh, you’re homeschooled? Do you know this obscure relative of mine in Nebraska who is also homeschooled? Figured you all know each other.”
Yeah, of course I know George. Hey, my friend's friend in Arizona goes to a public school. Do you know her? Her name is Jessa. Blonde, really tall, plays lacrosse? No?
16. “Homeschooler high five!”
This is a thing that exists. (Also I'm offended because I do this all the time??)
17. “So you’re basically like the Duggars.”
Inasmuch as you are like any of the contestants on "Real World." So, like, a little, I guess.
18. “Did you go to prom in your living room with your 10 siblings?”
Actually, yes. Mom was the DJ and things got LIT oN FLEEK am I right???
19. “What’s 15 x 24?” or “When did the Revolutionary War end?” or any question to test my intelligence.
Are you trying to determine if I was taught real facts and subjects? Because the answer is no. Didn’t even know there was a Revolutionary War tbh. That’s news to me.
If you're curious about how homeschooling works, ask questions. Real questions that are maybe prefaced with "I don't know much about homeschooling, so hopefully nothing I say is offensive." But most importantly, ask questions that are about the process, and not thinly veiled assumptions comparing us to that weird family in "Mean Girls."
I, for one, am always down to explain anything about homeschooling, and I bet that the homeschooler in your life is, too. Just...maybe avoid any and all of the preceding questions and remarks.
