Don't Forget About Your S.O.'s Love Language This Holiday Season

Don't Forget About Your S.O.'s Love Language This Holiday Season

You might be into finding THE perfect gift for them when all they want is an evening by the fire and telling each other childhood stories.

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The holidays are fast approaching! It feels like only last week that we were in October...time sure flies by.

Since it is coming quickly, we all tend to get hung up on the holiday spirit and what makes us happy that we might not think about what our significant other might want. We want to bring joy to our S.O. as much as we can, but we have to remember that they may have a different love language than us.

The 5 love languages are: "Words of Affirmation", "Acts of Service", "Quality Time", "Receiving Gifts", and "Physical Touch". If you take the quiz here, it will ask you some questions and tally out your results as to which language best suits you. This would completely explain why you may argue with your partner about them acting a certain way. It may be a reason that you noticed that you act a certain way.

You might be into finding THE perfect gift for them when all they want is an evening by the fire and telling each other childhood stories.

We tend to get so wrapped up in this time of year that is supposed to be about giving, and yet it is one of the most stressful times of the year. So I want you to take the time to think back to what you love about this person. Think about what do THEY love. What would they actually enjoy? Bigger does not necessarily mean better.

Every couple is different, so please do not compare gifts with other couples either. That is a means for disaster.

Also, do not forget that the giving does not end on December 25! You can be wonderful and giving all year-round.

I understand it can be challenging sometimes, but who said relationships were easy? You two are responsible for each other on keeping each other happy within the relationship, and that includes responding to what attracts them—responding to their love language.

So remember that this holiday season as you're shopping for gifts, planning trips and making memories at the house. The holiday season won't be so joyful if your special someone is not at their all-time high just because of some miscommunication.

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To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.

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Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

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To The Girl Who Thinks Getting A Boyfriend Will Fix Everything, Sorry, It Doesn't Work That Way

People say that you can't properly love someone else if you don't love yourself, and no matter how annoying it is to hear, it's true.

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Hey, you,

I want to start off by saying that I may be a hypocrite by writing this, but I don't care. There's that whole saying, "do as I say, not as I do," right? Let's go with that because I've been in your shoes. I have thought many times that everything wrong in my life like low self-esteem and loneliness would go away if I wasn't single. It doesn't. It really, really doesn't, and maybe by reading this, you will realize that.

So, I'm gonna be as straightforward and honest as I can be based on my experiences.

There's still a chance you won't agree with me. Maybe you will have to do what I did. You may have to date the wrong people before you realize it isn't fixing anything. And let me tell you, it's not fun, but I got through it. So will you.

I always believed that if I fell in love with someone that I would automatically be able to fall in love with myself, no matter how painfully cliche and melodramatic that may sound. I found out this was not true the hard way, by dating someone and quickly realizing that I didn't become an amazingly confident person as a consequence. No matter how annoying it is to hear from your lecturing mother or meddling friend, you can't properly love someone else if you don't know how to love yourself first. This is not me saying that you have to become the epitome of self-confidence. No one that I have ever met is, even if it seems like it at first. I know that I'm not, and I highly doubt that I ever will be. However, this is me saying that you have to stop looking for validation from other people, whether that be from friends, family, or a significant other.

I know you're probably being really harsh on yourself right now.

You probably don't always like what you see in the mirror, maybe you never do, and I am so sorry you feel that way. If I had to guess, I'd say you probably keep repeating things like "I am not good enough" in your head like it's your own personal mantra. Probably because it is. You've made it your motto these days after all. The solution you have thought up is this: I will find someone that will make me feel better. I will find someone that will be my own form of reassurance, of motivation to stop hating myself.

I'm sorry, but it really doesn't work that way.

I know you hate it when you're scrolling through some form of social media and you have to stare at all the pictures of couples holding hands with those cliche Pinterest quotes. I know that there is probably some sort of jealous ache when you double tap on your friend's Instagram picture with their boyfriend.

Being lonely is the worst feeling, but let me tell you something that I know from experience, and I am going to be blunt: Starting a new relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone anymore will make you feel worse, not better.

At the end of the day, the problem is that these kinds of relationships end. Then, there is a whole new ounce of self-loathing to add to the pot.

There isn't a person on this Earth that will automatically make all of your insecurities, your problems, your negative thoughts and emotions disappear. You have to realize that you're great on your own, not just because someone else tells you so. You are great though, just for the record. You are just as great on your own as you will be alongside another person someday. Just give yourself some time first to find out how fantastic of a person you are.

You need to give yourself more credit. You deserve more than a half-assed relationship. You deserve real love, no matter how cheesy that sounds. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone that you are head over heels for and that is head over heels for you in return. I understand that you're lonely. I understand that you may feel like the odd one out. I understand that it sucks to be the third wheel, but take it from me: a person that has had two best friends be in love with each other for the past two and a half years. It's gonna suck sometimes, but don't date the first guy that comes along.

Give yourself the time you deserve. You have you're whole life ahead of you to date the wrong guys and get your heart broken (I'm sorry if that is pessimistic, but I told you this was gonna be an honest letter). Don't increase your bad luck by pushing yourself. Life goes by fast enough, or so my wise elders have existentially told me.

No, a boyfriend is not what you need right now.

You need a friend. You need to be your own friend. You need to start realizing that you have a lot going on right now and that it is OK, that there are probably thousands, maybe millions of girls just like you feel the same way. I know that I felt like you before, and sometimes I thought that feeling would never go away. But it does. It always does, and before you know it it will happen for you.

The day will come that you look in the mirror and think you are beautiful, and you'll be happy. And that's when it happens. That is the time that someone will come up behind you and say, "Yes, you are."

But you will already know it by then.

Sincerely,

A Friend

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