With the Super Bowl fast approaching, I felt it appropriate to clear up a common misconception. Football is the widely popular spectator sport of choice among Americans, yet it seems most people don't understand that hockey is indeed much better than football in many, many ways. I can see the appeal, to an extent. Football caters to the strange love we humans have for violence. Several grown men in tight pants run into each other at full speed, sure. I'll give them that. But that's about where it stops. So without further ado (i.e. pseudo-intellectual banter) let's get to the facts.
1. The Season is Longer
(Sorry about the enormous picture)
This one is easy. The NFL schedule is 17 weeks (pssh), while the NHL season is 27. That's ten more weeks! Plus, hockey is not limited to Sunday, Monday and Thursday. There is almost always at least one hockey game per day, save for the all-star break. So if you love the game of hockey and don't really mind what teams are playing (go Bruins) as so many do with football then you, my friend, are one up on the football fans.
2. Game Speed
Nothing is better, regarding sports, than seeing the players fly up and down the ice at high speeds. Add the skill that goes into the sport (which I will touch upon later), and it's genuinely difficult to understand why people don't like hockey. And no, they're not figure skaters. That's a completely different style of skating (and skates).
3. Level of Skill
(See, I told you I'd touch upon it.)
When comparing the skill level between hockey players and football players, football players are no match. Sure, quarterbacks can throw really far, Odell Beckham Jr. (and others, I'm sure) can make some sweet catches. Anyone can tackle another person. But not everyone can speed through a group of people with knives on their feet, dodging sticks and body checks and somehow shoot a three by one inch rubber circle past a six-foot-plus man or woman with pillows all over his or her body.
4. Fighting
Back to the sick obsession we have with violence, fighting is allowed (for the most part) in hockey. It's arguably an integral part of the game. Whether you want it in the game or not, it's there, and fighting on ice skates is a whole different game than fighting on feet. The point is, hockey is the only sport where two people can get into a full-on fist fight and only be punished (for the most part) by a five-minute time out.
5. Amount of Actual Playing Time
Football games take about three hours to play all the way through. Yet, there are only about 11 minutes of actual playing time. Seriously, look it up. That's 169 minutes that have gone unaccounted for. Meanwhile, in hockey, there are at least 60 full minutes of actual playing time. And a hockey game takes about a half hour less than football to play through.
6. Commercial Breaks
That's right, most of the three hours it takes to watch a football game are taken up by commercials. Kickoff, commercial. Punt return, commercial. Touchdown, extra point, commercial. Kickoff, commercial. You get the point. In hockey, there are exactly three commercial breaks per period, and they come around the 13-minute mark, the nine-minute mark, and the five-minute mark. This information comes from years of watching hockey and noticing really random things.
7. There Are No Country Music Promotions
8. History/Rivalry
The National Hockey League has been in existence for nigh on 100 years and has given way to some of the most storied and heated rivalries. Take, for example, the greatest rivalry in all of sports: the Boston Bruins and the Montreal Canadiens. Two teams and fanbases that love to hate each other, but treat each other with nothing but respect. Again, for the most part.
9. Playoffs
The NHL playoffs are the greatest time of the year. Let's start with the format. The NFL teams play one game, win or go home. Which, OK, that adds to the tension. But, the NHL playoffs feature a best-of-seven series, which means one bad game won't necessarily kick you out of the playoffs (*cough* Patriots vs. Broncos *cough*). There are four rounds in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which means one team has to win 16 games. Sixteen of the fastest, most talent-ridden games you're likely to see all year. There's a reason the Stanley Cup is considered the toughest championship to win in all of sports.
So, there you have it: irrefutable proof that hockey is better than football. It's my duty as an unpaid journalist to change the world, and I intend to; one hockey game at a time. Whether you agree with me or not, I think we can all agree that hockey and football are both better than baseball.
Don't even get me started on baseball.
