“26 days left of school!!!” the green Expo marker reads in the corner of my homeroom teacher’s white board. Parts of the phrase have been accidentally faded and erased by hands eager to change the number on the board everyday. This countdown has become a tradition, something that has simultaneously motivated us and fueled our senioritis. Amongst the chatter there are those moments when I think about what “26 days left of school!!!” really means, and it is a crippling, confusing, exciting, nerve wracking, and joyful whirlwind of a reality. These following list includes some of the feelings I’ve had recently, as well as observations I’ve made about my classmates.

(*Warning* Contains Ferris Bueller quotes, just in case you haven’t lived a fulfilling, self-actualized life.)

1. You’re Restless.

You ache for new faces, sounds, smells, sensations, feelings, knowledge and experiences. You feel ready for new people in new places and you are excited for new classes. It is almost hard to stay seated for too long or focus on your homework sitting in front of you, waiting to be finished.

2. You’re not so much “unmotivated,” as you are distracted.

You know that it is still important to keep your grades up, you don’t want to lose any merit scholarships, and you still have a desire to do well in school. However, you often find yourself distracted with all the hype, excitement, and changes around you. When you’re faced with possibilities about your future, suddenly derivatives, European history, and Newton’s Law don’t seem to have quite the same ring. “I do have a test today, that wasn't bulls***. It's on European Socialism. I'm not European, nor do I plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!”

3. You find yourself in this weird, transitional crossroad -- no longer a child, but not yet an adult.

You want to become more independent, but you are still aware of the fact that you have a lot to learn about yourself and the world. Although 18 is technically when you become an adult, you are nowhere near being an actual, functioning adult. Still, you’re aching for this next stage in your life and you want people to think of you as being mature.

“Call me ‘sir,’ goddamn it!”

4. You find it comforting to see how much everyone has matured.

People who were once insecure and occupied with drama seem happier and have found a good group of friends. Overall, your graduating class seems to be more supportive of each other and relaxed and far less divided and petty than Freshman year. “Oh, he's very popular, Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads, they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.”

“It’s understanding that makes it possible for people like us to tolerate a person like yourself.”

It is even more comforting to think that people who haven’t found their place yet in high school will probably find their niche wherever they choose to go next year because, well, they won’t be in high school anymore.

“Will Cameron be OK? Yeah, sure, for the first time in his life. He's going to be just fine.”

5. You have a robotic, automated response for every relative, teacher, and family friend that asks you where you’re going next year.

If you’re not sure yet, you also have memorized a response to make it sound like you are a little more confident and together than you actually feel.

6. You're energetic and bubbling over with excitement for what the future may hold.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll just do a double major and a triple minor, join a cappella and study abroad in Spain! “The question isn't what are we going to do. The question is what aren't we going to do.” You know that realistically you may not live out your dream college experience in full, but it is exciting to think about and it is helping you bear this last month or so left of school.

7. You worry every now and then, “what if it doesn’t work out?”

The thought of new financial responsibilities, adjusting to a college course load, a new independence and freedom, and a completely different social strata can be a burdening anxiety, especially when you can’t predict what will happen. Maybe a free, public education with limited responsibility wasn't so bad after all?

Remember, though, that you are much more prepared than you know, and you will come to learn many new things about yourself in the coming year. After all, you don’t learn these things overnight and changes will come in waves, not all at once.

“A person should not believe in an ‘-ism,’ he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, ‘I don’t believe in the Beatles, I just believe in me.’”

8. You have outgrown “high school culture.”

Sure, you’re super pumped for senior week events, especially prom and graduation, and you still love and appreciate your friends. But, you’re starting to notice the ridiculousness of high school etiquette, cliques, relationships, and bullying. Every time you overhear underclassmen drama, you are a little more thankful that you won’t be in high school next year.

  

9. The chill has been found...well, for the most part, anyways.

The other day I interjected “THERE’S NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CAN’T REACH” to a freshman’s solo “Breaking Free” jam and promptly ran away. I don’t have one regret. It is amazing what we’re able to be relaxed about now that would have ruined our entire year as underclassmen. Basically, you have had the ultimate Cameron Frye transformation this year.

“I don’t care. I really don’t. I’m just tired of being afraid”

10. You start to imagine what your family back home will be like while you are away and what it will feel like to live away from them.

You hope that your mom will finally go with the other mom’s in your town to those Jazzercise classes. You hope that your little sister is happy in her transition to high school and that your brother makes varsity this year. You will also probably call your house everyday for your first week of school just to make sure that your siblings are taking good enough care of your dog. Personally, both of my parents will be empty-nesters for the first time in their separate households next year because my older sister has moved out years ago and they are both single. So for us youngest kids of single or divorced parents, we might just be worrying about our parents just as much as they’ll be worrying about us while we’re gone.

11. You can’t watch "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off" without crying anymore.

You’re fine and dandy and laughing along until the last 30 minutes of the movie when it gets a little too real. The tears just come out of seemingly nowhere once Ferris talks about how this may be the last fun day that him and Cameron share together.

12. You want to just take it all in while it’s still here.

Make sure that you take the time to listen to mom’s stories about her day and watch that ridiculous movie with your little sister. Make sure that you enjoy your last school play, orchestra concert, or tennis game. Tell your friends that they important to you. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

I also wanted to mention that this article is limited to the perspective and experiences of a girl who is going to a four-year college/university after high school, so I don’t mean to be intentionally excluding people who choose to take a different path. Post-high school alternatives such as enlisting in the military, going to a community college or vocational school, entering the workforce, taking a gap year, or any other path can be just as fulfilling as university. School is not made for everyone so it is important to know what is best for you personally. I also realize that this may not be a great time of year for everyone, there is a lot to face and come to terms with, but please hang in there and remember to self-care and remember these feelings are temporary. You’ll do great things some day, no matter what your path may be.

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