Danielle Laporte once said, “You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone – profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.”
Stumbling upon this quote a few weeks back, I came to a conclusion. As women, this is the problem we often find ourselves battling with. It becomes easy to fall into these temptations of societal peer pressure and stereotypical conventions because, in the end, all we yearn for is love. We want to give love just as much as we want to receive it. Nevertheless, a serious problem often arises in the midst of all of this. Due to our fear of breaking the "hook-up" status quo that our generation has set as the standard, we have begun to set a trend. It’s called “let’s settle for less.”
Well, I have some news for you. I say, stop settling for less. If someone cannot fully accept you with your quirks and your faults, your lows and your highs - then clearly that person does not deserve to have reserved seating in your life.
Now, let me just state – I do recognize that there is a fine line between a person who desires to change you for their benefit and a person who desires to change you for your benefit.
However, stop trying so hard for someone who does not value your precious existence. Stop settling for these boys who are only giving you attention because they want to play this childish game of "friends with benefits." If a guy sees nothing more in you than just another girl to spend a night with, then he does not even deserve to have a split second of your acknowledgement.
Where are the words and actions that demonstrate commitment?
If he is someone who flees from the word I just mentioned, then there is no gain to wasting your cherished time in a relationship that simply will not last. If he cannot handle a commitment – and yes, it’s as big as the word itself – then that itself is an automatic sign that he is not fully prepared to make you a priority in his life.
Stop selling yourself short. If he cannot handle you at your worst and treat you with love and patience, how can you give him the privilege of having you at your best?
Don’t you see, you are a beautifully wrapped-up package. Give yourself the value that you deserve. Give yourself the esteem that God, above all people and things, gave you when he created you to fit his own imagine.
God made you a warrior and princess. When the right man enters your life, he will enter your life effortlessly. You will not have to work to make him love you. Nothing that is executed by force results in goodness.
Stop dedicating the majority of your time trying to seek different ways you can conquer the “player” or the “bad boy.” In the end, it is not worth it. While you’re spending time trying to find ways to make him feel special, the truth is, he is not appreciating it to the fullest extent because his mindset is nowhere near yours. It is as limited as a nutshell. While you’re after love, he’s after lust. Your intentions do not match up with his. Do not be blinded.
Be content when the man that doesn’t care what your hair looks like at 6 a.m. comes into your life. Be content when the man that is not afraid to embrace the beautiful artwork that you are enters your life. Be content when the man, who loves you, respects you, supports you and will want to grow with you – physically, emotionally and spiritually – enters your life.
Aspire to have a significant other who will not have his eyes fixed solely on flesh desires or sexual cravings. Aspire to have a significant other that has honorable morals – someone who can be a relentless role model for your children in the long run.
Think closely about what you look for in a future partner because not everything you see online are actual “relationship goals.” You don’t have to abide by the status quo.
You are worth so much more than you believe. Give yourself credit. You are a prized possession in God’s eyes and for all the people that love you dearly, as well.
If the boy you just happened to catch feelings for dislikes the fact that you "care too much," then that’s his loss. Not yours. If anything, be happy about the fact that you care “more than you should,” because one day someone is going to come along and treasure that whole-heartedly. Someone is going to hold on tight to that beautiful characteristic and be appreciative of the fact that you care for them in such a passionate and lively manner – perhaps in a way that no one else dared to love them until you came along.
Keep on breaking the status quo and keep on doing it fearlessly.
Lust is purely temporary. A "hook-up" is purely temporary.
Be yourself and be OK with it. Keep your head up and never apologize for being who you are, because if one person doesn’t appreciate it – there will come another person, soon enough, that surely will.
