I’ve been hesitant to write this because it’s an over-glorified topic and borderline cheesy, but it's truth, and it still needs to be heard. Just because a guy loves you, treats you right, your friends tell you to be with him, or he would change for you doesn’t mean that he is God’s best for you. Those are only worldly standards that have become our new normal. He might be great in the world's eyes, but is he great for you?
I want to challenge girls to not get caught up in the worldly perspective of what makes a good boyfriend, or what makes a guy worthy of dating. The few reasons that I listed above are things that I have heard from many of my friends that struggle with relationships and things that I have dealt with myself. Not just with guys, but with every situation or decision in life, voices in this world become too loud. They so easily cloud what we know the Lord is telling us. So many times, these voices and worldly reasons start taking front seat in our lives. From experience and from many amazing men and women surrounding my life, I’ve come to the realization that all of those reasons are worthless and we can’t get caught up in opinions of other people. What matters more than any of those reasons? How do you know that it is a relationship worth pursuing?
1. Know that he loves God more than he will ever love you.
In a long term relationship and possible marriage (which is why you date), it is important that he knows you are ultimately the Lord’s. One of my mentors told me that “he should be so in love with Jesus that you know he will love you” and that has always stuck with me. Don’t settle for anything less.
2. Know that he will make every decision based on scripture.
If he lines up decisions with the Word and prayer, then you will be able to trust his leadership.
3. Know that you can trust him to protect your heart.
So many girls end up broken and terrified to date because of a boy that didn’t protect their heart. A man that loves the Lord will make sure that he is praying through his decisions with you and loving you through the love of Christ. This doesn’t mean that he would never hurt you; it means that he knows he is human and knows he will fail. He knows that the Lord’s plan is better than his will ever be.
4. Know that he is already where you need him to be.
He will not be perfect; he will never be perfect. However, he can be seeking the Lord with all of his heart. He can be, and should be, actively pursuing the heart of God. If you are thinking that he could “change his life for you,” then he is not where he needs to be. You should look up to his relationship with the Lord. Again, he will not be perfect, but if you are constantly dragging him along in his spiritual walk, then know that will be short-lived. He can only change himself for so long before he realizes he needs to be changed from the inside out, by the Lord, and he needs to be on his own when figuring that out.
5. Know that he understands the Gospel.
If he understands that he and you are both sinners, he will treat you differently. He will treat you with more grace and love because he knows the grace and love that Jesus gives him. God does not only love us when we are "good" or "right," He loves us at every moment, in spite of our sin. If a guy understands that, he can love you so much better.
I’ve said it a few times, but I want to reiterate that I don’t want to put guys on a pedestal or give them some unreachable standard. Bottom line: if he is actively pursuing the heart of God and you can see it in his everyday life, then you aren’t settling. There is no perfect guy. Even the guy that loves the Lord more than you won't ever satisfy you. Only God will.
I’m writing this for myself and for every girl that desires a Godly relationship one day, even if that's not His plan for us. It will still keep us from wasting our time with anything that isn't God's best. Meanwhile, fall more in love with the Lord on your own and run towards Him, and maybe God will bring someone else in to run with you.
