The Heroism of Stay-At-Home Moms

The Heroism of Stay-At-Home Moms

Praise the strength of a woman willing to make sacrifices for her children over herself.
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Although I consider myself a feminist, the new third wave of feminism has a lot of glaring issues with the movement that I cannot completely support.

A social issue the new wave of feminism discusses is the topic of women continuing to pursue their career rather than become stay-at-home mom's after having children. The fact that women used to be expected to leave their careers and stay home with the children a few short decades ago is not okay. But in today's day and age, the attitude towards women being stay-at-home moms has made a total 180. Women who express the interest in becoming stay-at-home mothers once they're older are shamed and ridiculed. They're told they're "wasting their potential," "internalizing their misogyny" and "letting the patriarchy win."

In my personal opinion, the only time the "patriarchy wins" (a buzz-phrase I try to stray from ever saying) is when women put other women down for making a personal decision just because they don't agree or understand this decision. Feminism is not criticizing women for making a healthy, personal choice that makes her happy because it doesn't fall into a certain narrative. Feminism is encouraging each other to individually make our own choices based off of the lifestyles we desire and praising each other for finding contentment and confidence in what we choose no matter what is it.

Stay-at-home mom's are portrayed as weak, as cowardly or as boring. I personally don't think there is anything more inspiring than a woman who is willing to make sacrifices to serve her children over herself. I'm not saying women who choose to pursue their career fields even after children aren't inspiring; balancing two contradicting lifestyles of raising a family and chasing dreams is very inspiring. But in my eyes, someone who was willing to drop all their ambitions to focus on giving the best possible lifestyle for their children is one of the bravest acts of a love a mother can do.

My mom worked from home up until I was twelve and my brother was fifteen. She left her teaching job to raise my brother and me and returned to teaching after we were grown. She said she had always wanted to raise her kids, and she did a great job at it too. There are good parts and bad parts of both lifestyles, but I know always having my mom around for me while I grew up really made a big difference in my life. My mom is one of the most confident, efficient, smartest and coolest women I know and I am always grateful that she was willing to give all her time to my brother and I growing up. Knowing my mom was always there to pick me up after I had a bad day was one of the best and most comforting feelings while growing up. She has always kept up on what was going on in my life, and as a result, I've never felt completely alone in any challenge or difficulty.

I personally have a lot of career goals, but I also want to give my children the same opportunity to grow up with a parent who is totally present. I'm not sure what route my life will ultimately take as I am definitely not someone who has a five-year/ten-year/twenty-year plan (or even a daily to-do list, if I'm being honest). But I just can't stand to see women be criticized for making a decision that is very difficult and very brave. I applaud any mother that sacrifices her goals because of the love she has for her children. And any real feminist would do the same.

Cover Image Credit: VSCO

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why I Appreciate My Parents So Much

This is for my two biggest supporters.

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One thing I've noticed, the older I've gotten, is how much I appreciate my parents.

We've become so close, it's almost funny to think at one point I looked at them so much differently. When I was younger, my parents were much more strict than they are now. They disciplined differently and didn't let me do certain things. The older I've gotten, the more freedom I've gotten, which is one big sigh of relief.

My parents are such great people. Throughout my whole life, I've always had friends of parents or people who know my parents tell me how great they both are. I'm so blessed to have been raised by them and to have gotten their characteristics.

My mom is so loving and generous, and she thinks of literally everyone else in her life before herself. She's smart and funny, and she is always there when I need someone to talk to. She's taught me how to be courteous, kind, funny (with her sense of humor), and most importantly, accepting towards others.

The older I get, the more I realize how similar I am to her. She's my favorite woman in the whole world. We understand each other.

My dad is a thoughtful, hilarious, wise, and helpful guy who has taught me so many lessons throughout the years. He always makes sure my finances are in order, even more than I do. He keeps me laughing with his funny stories and made-up songs that he sings. He always asks me how my day was every time I walk through the door. He is so adorable and thoughtful, and I'm so happy I got his wit and humor.

His smile lights up a room and I'm so happy I've been hearing his laugh and will continue to for the rest of my life.

Another great thing about my parents is that they've taught me what love looks like. They're so loving, kind, and patient towards each other. I've rarely ever seen them fight in my life. They still treat one another how they did when they first started dating. I have friends and know people whose parents aren't together, and I'm so lucky to say I can't imagine what that's like.

My parents complete each other; they are soulmates. I'm so lucky and appreciative that I get to have the honor of watching their love play out throughout their lives.

I'm so happy and thankful that these are the parents I ended up with. They're the best. I hope to be half of my parents when I become a parent myself.

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