It feels like a pile of bricks on your chest. Like you're chained underwater. It makes you feel like what your are feeling isn't normal, it can't be justified and that it is only you who feels this way. Anxiety can take your outlook on life and throw it down the drain. As someone who understands the effects of this mental monster, I want to let you know that it does not define you. No matter what it is making you feel, no matter what your brain is making you think you are, do not listen to it. You are so much bigger and stronger than the chains that bind you.
For a chance to relate if you are affected by it and for anyone reading this who wants to learn and understand exactly what anxiety is, I'll explain to you how it affects me and how I came to handling it. For me, my anxiety stems from the unknown. For example, the day you are getting a test score back: you studied so hard, but in the pit of your stomach you feel knots and the steady unrest of your body. This feeling can either last with you in the moment or stick with you throughout the entire day.
After I began to experience the effects of anxiety I started to notice a pattern. When the seasons began to change from fall to winter my anxiety would worsen. I felt hopeless, my social interactions were scarce, my appetite was gone and my energy ran out the door. Asking around my friend groups and looking further into the situation I came upon the answer. What I was experiencing was something called Seasonal Depression. Seasonal Depression is a mood change that occurs with the seasons. It affects up to 3 million people in the U.S. every year and is most prominent in ages fourteen and up. Discovering this new found piece of information made me feel less alone. I now knew why I was feeling the way I was and it now gave me the small sense of peace I had been searching for since my anxiety surfaced. By surrounding myself with people who cared about and loved me, my parents, family, friends and peers, I was able to overcome the sense of dread I felt. Even as I am writing this I am starting to feel the change in my mood, but now that I know how to handle it, I feel stronger than ever.
If you are someone who is experiencing anxiety or depression I want to let you know that I believe in you and that you are stronger than you think you are, you are capable of so much and you are loved by so many. When you experience times of hopelessness surround yourself with those who love you and remind yourself that you are more than your illness. You are not defined by what it makes you feel, you are your own person. A person who is loved, capable, resilient and strong. I'm with you.
