Back in my days on Tinder, my bio read, “I did my 3rd grade science fair project on the best way to do laundry… so if that doesn't make me wife material I don't know what does.” I’m pretty happy to be out of the world of Tinder, but even happier to see my self-proclamation of "wife material" deleted right along with the app.
Obviously, it was all in the fun and games of catching someone’s eye with a flirty one-liner, but in reality claiming some specific trait as “wife material” just adds fuel to the gender role fire.
What even are “wife material” traits? She can cook, clean and loves kids? While these might have been the traditional traits of a woman who was ready to be wife’d up, that’s not necessarily the case nowadays.
But some young guys today are still setting their “wife material” characteristics pretty stereotypical. She needs a pretty face and can't talk too much, has motherly traits, with a calm personality-- the cringe-worthy list goes on and on. If you even look online at "wife goals" you'll find pictures of women in lingerie making their husbands a sandwich, is that really the defining quality of a wife?
What about the women who don’t fit those characteristics? The loud and wild girl? The girl who can’t even make toast without burning it? The girl who avoids her dirty laundry until the last day possible? The girl who isn't looking to have children?
People find love and get married every day, regardless of the lacking surface level traits that are idealized as "wife worthy." The ability to be a wife has nothing to do with the rating of a woman's cooking skills, but instead her level of commitment, honestly, values and goals in life.
Why can't we just let kids grow up to be the individual they want to be, without having to worry they won't be good enough for marriage? Let people fall in love with each other, even if the guy has to do all the cooking and the girl is handling an oil change.
Marriage material is about falling in love, not about who most closely fits the underdeveloped gender roles of the 50s.
