"A healthy relationship is one in which love enriches you; not imprisons you" (Steve Maraboli).
There are many factors that can make up a healthy relationship, whether this relationship is with a friend or a significant other. Without these things, you may be unhappy in the relationship.
Respect. Before a relationship gets serious, there should be time taken to discuss each other's values and boundaries. While it is acceptable to have differences in these things, you should respect each other's decisions.
Trust. Trust is when you can rely on someone to be honest and be truthful. If you are worried about what the other person in the relationship is doing all the time or you have to question if they are telling the truth, you do not trust them.
Honesty. You need to be able to tell the other person everything. There should not be any secrets between the two of you and you should be able to tell them the truth, no matter the consequences.
I knew all of these things going into my first serious relationship and I told myself that I would end it if those three things weren't there.
At the beginning, things were great. I told him everything, I trusted him, and not only did I respect him, but he respected me. I even fell in love and I couldn't be happier. I also got very close with his family and they treated me like their own. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world, or so I thought…
About 9 months into the relationship, I started to fall out of love and I got less and less happy. It started when I stopped trusting him. We were in the car with his family and he thought I couldn't see it, but I did. He was Snapchatting his ex. But that's not the part that made me lose trust. I asked him about it and he lied and said that he wasn't Snapchatting her; he wasn't honest. I was very upset, but I forgave him. Eventually, it got toxic. We would get mad at each other for talking to anyone else, even if they were just friends and we weren't Snapchatting anyone of the opposite gender. He changed me. The person I became wasn't me, but I stayed in the relationship because it's what was comfortable to me. My friends could see it and they were concerned, but I told them it was fine and ignored what they had to say.
I was in that relationship for almost two years before I had finally had enough. Although I ended it, it wasn't soon enough because he wouldn't stop trying to suck me back into the toxicity. There were a few moments of weakness where I almost gave in, but I knew better and stood my ground.
Today, I am single and happy. I don't regret that relationship because it taught me so much. Now I know what I do not want in a relationship because in the end it made me unhappy and changed me for the worst.
My last week of high school, my history teacher gave us some advice that really stuck with me and I always try to share this with as many people as I can. She told us that if you are in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you happy all the time, you shouldn't be with them because we are young and we shouldn't have to stress over relationships at this point in our lives.
If you are unhappy in a relationship, think about the things that make up a healthy relationship and don't be afraid to stick up for yourself.
