Social Media Is Giving Us Unrealistic Expectations Of Healthy Relationships

Social Media Is Giving Us Unrealistic Expectations Of Healthy Relationships

#CoupleGoals is ruining couples' goals.
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It seems these days that everywhere you turn you see relationships. In person, on television, on social media; relationships are everywhere. Advice seems to be everywhere as well. From your relatives telling you how you need a boyfriend, to Twitter accounts telling you what kind of boyfriend you need.

If you take a minute and look through Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest, you can find paragraphs after paragraphs about the kind of boyfriend you “deserve.”

These people will tell you that you deserve a boy who will always send you a “good morning text,” buy you anything you want, and give you all of their attention all of time. There is a list of specific “little things” that are required for a good relationship. These include, dancing, flowers, gifts, and constant communication. I’m not saying that these things aren’t good, or that you don’t deserve them.

What I am saying is that these relationships you see pictures of all over the internet aren’t real. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, or a perfect boyfriend.

The social media checklist is not the standard you should be setting.

When you are considering if a boy or potential relationship is right, look at who he is. Don’t ask yourself how often he texts you, ask yourself how often he makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t wonder if he will pay for every meal (cause truthfully, you’re both probably broke), wonder if he will pray before every meal.

Don’t expect that you will have all of his attention and time. You shouldn’t even want that. That isn’t healthy. You both should value other people and things outside of your relationship. Give each other a healthy amount of time and space to miss the other. No matter how much social media tries to say that it isn’t, it is OKAY not to be around each other 24/7. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. That means he isn’t dependent on you.

There is only one thing that you should want a boy to be dependent on, and that is Jesus. Who is the only boy you should be dependent on.

There are pictures all over Instagram of couples you know doing cute couple things that result in comments like “goals.” But you have to remember that people don’t post pictures of their fights. Girls don’t brag about when their boyfriend wanted to play video games instead of coming over. No one wants to broadcast how imperfect their relationship really is.

I’m not saying you should settle. You should decide right now not to settle for anything less than the guy God has planned for you. But if you expect him to be everything Twitter says an ideal potential boyfriend is, you won’t be happy. Don’t second guess him because he doesn’t come over every time you ask him to. If he acts like he likes you, he likes you.

Don’t listen to Pinterest. Listen to what God is telling you. You know in your heart if a boy isn’t right for you. So listen to that, not whether or not he ignored your text.

I’m not going to give you a checklist, because you don’t need one. Ultimately, it isn’t up to anyone else to determine if a thing is right. If you have a substantial list of requirements, you will just be sitting there waiting for him to fail. And what happens when he does? Are you going to break things off with a boy you really like just because he did one thing out of the ideal?

Does he make you happy? Does he make you a better version of who you already are? Does he love Jesus and show it? Those are the types of standards you should have. As long as it is healthy, don’t listen to how other people say your relationship should be. Because it won’t be perfect. He will make you mad. There will be times that he doesn’t come over. There will be times that he will be so far from the boy in the fake relationship on your Facebook feed.

Be happy. Spend time with the boy that makes you happy. Don’t over think things. Don’t make drama where there isn’t. Just love Jesus and love the life he gave you. Because that is so much better than wishing your life was someone else’s.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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Christian Boys Vs. Godly Men

It is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.
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Ladies, there is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man; therefore, it is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.

So many times I hear girls saying:

“Well, he’s a Christian.”

“He goes to church with me.”

“He listens to Christian music.”

“He went to church camp.”

“He has a favorite bible verse.”

SEE ALSO: What An Attractive Man Looks Like

Well, all of those things are just peachy and there is nothing wrong with doing those things. I mean, they’re all good things to do. But how is his personal relationship with God? How is his prayer life? Does he talk about his relationship with God, with you? Is he truly a follower of the one true God in all aspects of his life? These are some of the characteristics you should be looking for that makes a Godly man.

Ladies, a man will love you great when he loves God greater.

A Godly man will pursue an honest relationship with you. He will be clear of his intentions. A Godly man will worship, pray and passionately praise God with you. Whereas, a Christian boy might open the door for you, a Godly man will open his bible and explore God’s word with you so that you both may grow spiritually, together. While a Christian boy may put on an outward show, a Godly man will live out the love of Jesus daily.

So ladies, are you catching on to this ongoing trend? A Godly man does more because you deserve more.

A Godly man will be a leader. Trust me, I know that in today’s society Godly men are few and far between while Christian boys come in plenty. But you deserve a man who is after God’s heart not just a boy who goes to church. And I know that this Christian boy may seem great and have some really stellar qualities at the time but money and looks fade, whereas, an ongoing love for our savior will not.

The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead her closer to God than himself. (Yes, yes, yes).

SEE ALSO: As Christians, Life Isn't Supposed To Be Hard

So I beg of you, do not settle. Do not settle just because you’re tired of being single, it’s convenient or because you want the relationship your friend has. Single does not equal available and a relationship status does not define you. God uses your season of singleness to prepare you for what is to come. And if you’re dating a Christian boy, he needs to step it up or you need to move on. Wait for a Godly man who is ready to lead you. God’s timing is always better, always. No matter the circumstance. So, do not rush God. (I mean, He is, after all, pretty good at His job). Therefore, turn your full focus to Him and He will direct your path.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Cover Image Credit: Christina Sharp

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Our Leaders Need A 'Time-Out'

We all learned a few essential rules as children.

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As I look watch the news, I can't help but wonder if the lessons we learned as children might not serve our leaders well. They seem to have forgotten these basic lessons. I am reminded of the book by Robert Fulghum "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."

Watch out, hold hands, and stick together.

I think this could be useful in a couple of different contexts. First, the current divisiveness in the country doesn't serve us well. We are first and foremost, a part of the family of humankind. Differences in politics, religion, and so on come in far behind that one important attribute. What happened to the notion of agreeing to disagree?

Second, when leaders get off a plane in another country, they should remember who they came with and who they represent - "watch out, hold hands, and stick together."

Clean up your own mess.

Trump seems to take great pleasure in blaming everyone else for their "mess." The government shutdown was someone else's fault – any Democrat. When the stock market went up, he happily took credit, but when it went down, he quickly shifted gears and placed the blame on the Federal Reserve Chairman. Daily and hourly tweets out of the White House place blame on someone else for his "mess." Sadly, he still likes to blame Obama and Hillary for his mess.

Don't lie.

Politicians have always had a bad reputation when it comes to honesty. Still, the number of lies that we hear from Trump (and members of his staff) is unprecedented even for a politician.

We all learned these lessons when we were little more than five years old. Now more than any time in history I think our leaders need a " time out" to re-learn these lessons.

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