Social Media Is Giving Us Unrealistic Expectations Of Healthy Relationships

Social Media Is Giving Us Unrealistic Expectations Of Healthy Relationships

#CoupleGoals is ruining couples' goals.
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It seems these days that everywhere you turn you see relationships. In person, on television, on social media; relationships are everywhere. Advice seems to be everywhere as well. From your relatives telling you how you need a boyfriend, to Twitter accounts telling you what kind of boyfriend you need.

If you take a minute and look through Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest, you can find paragraphs after paragraphs about the kind of boyfriend you “deserve.”

These people will tell you that you deserve a boy who will always send you a “good morning text,” buy you anything you want, and give you all of their attention all of time. There is a list of specific “little things” that are required for a good relationship. These include, dancing, flowers, gifts, and constant communication. I’m not saying that these things aren’t good, or that you don’t deserve them.

What I am saying is that these relationships you see pictures of all over the internet aren’t real. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, or a perfect boyfriend.

The social media checklist is not the standard you should be setting.

When you are considering if a boy or potential relationship is right, look at who he is. Don’t ask yourself how often he texts you, ask yourself how often he makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t wonder if he will pay for every meal (cause truthfully, you’re both probably broke), wonder if he will pray before every meal.

Don’t expect that you will have all of his attention and time. You shouldn’t even want that. That isn’t healthy. You both should value other people and things outside of your relationship. Give each other a healthy amount of time and space to miss the other. No matter how much social media tries to say that it isn’t, it is OKAY not to be around each other 24/7. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. That means he isn’t dependent on you.

There is only one thing that you should want a boy to be dependent on, and that is Jesus. Who is the only boy you should be dependent on.

There are pictures all over Instagram of couples you know doing cute couple things that result in comments like “goals.” But you have to remember that people don’t post pictures of their fights. Girls don’t brag about when their boyfriend wanted to play video games instead of coming over. No one wants to broadcast how imperfect their relationship really is.

I’m not saying you should settle. You should decide right now not to settle for anything less than the guy God has planned for you. But if you expect him to be everything Twitter says an ideal potential boyfriend is, you won’t be happy. Don’t second guess him because he doesn’t come over every time you ask him to. If he acts like he likes you, he likes you.

Don’t listen to Pinterest. Listen to what God is telling you. You know in your heart if a boy isn’t right for you. So listen to that, not whether or not he ignored your text.

I’m not going to give you a checklist, because you don’t need one. Ultimately, it isn’t up to anyone else to determine if a thing is right. If you have a substantial list of requirements, you will just be sitting there waiting for him to fail. And what happens when he does? Are you going to break things off with a boy you really like just because he did one thing out of the ideal?

Does he make you happy? Does he make you a better version of who you already are? Does he love Jesus and show it? Those are the types of standards you should have. As long as it is healthy, don’t listen to how other people say your relationship should be. Because it won’t be perfect. He will make you mad. There will be times that he doesn’t come over. There will be times that he will be so far from the boy in the fake relationship on your Facebook feed.

Be happy. Spend time with the boy that makes you happy. Don’t over think things. Don’t make drama where there isn’t. Just love Jesus and love the life he gave you. Because that is so much better than wishing your life was someone else’s.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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