Hello all, if you’re reading this, you are probably needing some healthy boundaries for all your relationships. (friends, parents, and even a significant other.) Until a few months ago I never even knew this was a thing. However, I am so glad It was brought to my attention. Healthy boundaries are mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Over the past few years, I have not had the best of relationships. I was constantly wondering what I was doing wrong. It seemed like no one could understand me and I definitely wasn’t understanding others. It turns out that I needed boundaries that I never set in place. My friends, family and even significant other would just walk all over me. I didn’t understand why. Boundaries are set in place to protect not only yourself, but others and the relationship. Without even knowing, we all set expectations of our relationships and people that are in them. When they are not met, often times, it leads to a boundary that has been crossed. So know that I have explained briefly about this, let’s talk about the different types of boundaries and why they are important.
First, mental boundaries. Mental boundaries are setting boundaries that either you can’t complete or are too taxing on you personally. For example, think of the annoying person that you dislike. (don’t worry, we all have them.) Imagine they find you and follow you around talking to you for hours on end. Instead of limiting yourself and saying that you have to leave, you remain and let it continue. After a few more minutes, you snap. You start yelling and freaking out on the person. This is because you did not follow and keep the mental boundary you have. If you know you cannot handle something for long. You need to create a boundary and make sure you stick to it.
Next, we have Physical boundaries. A physical boundary is physical contact that you are not okay with. An example of this is someone who doesn’t like to be hugged. If you know this about the person you will not run up and try to hug them. (well, one can hope you won’t) If you do you will be crossing their boundary. However, this is good because it shows us that we need to place boundaries and make them known if we do not want to be touched.
Emotional boundaries. These can be very complicated and can often be confused with mental boundaries. However, they are very different. Emotional boundaries are based off reactions. When they are crossed one will have an explosive reaction. (not necessarily just anger.)
Last, Spiritual boundaries. Spiritual boundaries are more based on your belief. For example, if you are religious, you would not want to hang around a Satanist. This type of boundary can be complicated because it has a lot to do with morals, and beliefs. When one doesn’t have the same beliefs as the other, or cannot be respectful of the other, that is when boundaries are crossed.
To live a healthy lifestyle and have the least amount of pain and heartache, it is better if we set the boundaries that we need early on. Failing to do so will allow others to walk all over you. You will get hurt because the other person does not know what you expect or how you feel. So to bring this into closing, set boundaries, communicate these boundaries to your relationship, and stick with them. If you follow those three little steps, you will begin to have the healthy boundaries we all need.
