As human beings, we were created to be social and to foster bonds with those around us. Socialization is within our natural makeup, is enforced upon us heavily by our society and is also part of what makes us human, able to fit into our surroundings and grow. We connect with others to learn more about ourselves, how to nurture others and how to have a safe haven to run to and hide in when the world around us becomes unrecognizable with disaster and fear. Healthy bonds can be one of the most beautiful experiences that we may have within our own lifetimes, but it is very likely that we all will eventually have to face an unhealthy bond that seems to be manipulative and draining-- one that turns us into unrecognizable people due to the effect it has on us. In order to help serve the planet and our loved ones and to accomplish our goals and ambitions, we need to first take care of ourselves and be able to recognize when a bond is no longer having a healthy influence within our life.
Letting go of a person is not usually an easy experience to face. It's a bumpy road that is filled with challenges and the feeling of the unknown looming ahead. In a sense, it's starting over without a sense of direction-- like walking into a dark room while blindfolded. It is completely natural to stumble and feel disoriented because this may have been a major life change for you-- a healthy step in the right direction. That takes time. Time to heal is different for every person, along with the time of grieving. Allow yourself to cry, grieve and express the way that you are feeling because bottling it up may just make you feel even worse in the long run. You are a human who has valid emotions and worth. Finding a new hobby to immerse yourself in can be a great way to release frustrations, along with practicing meditation for the sake of inner relaxation. Destroy the evidence that this person was once a major part of your life and do something that you have always dreamed of doing. Take that trip. Dye your hair that crazy unconventional color. Get that piercing. Reinvent yourself.
Cutting off unhealthy bonds, however, can also have an extremely positive impact within our lives. Once the stage of grieving has passed, it's as though you are breathing in fresh air for the first time. The world is filled with possibilities once more and you may have a new perspective. You are free to be who you once were and free to create yourself again. No more walking around on egg shells and watching the words that you say, or wondering how this person would react to you doing what you would really enjoy doing. You are free from the chains of negativity that were once holding you down. You are free to dance, sing, shout, scream, and run once more.
Scream and celebrate who you are and the worth that you have. Let the world know your value and what you have to give. Difficult and painful journeys often have the most beautiful endings, a lesson that I am still learning every day.
Take care of yourself.
