It is not that I am homesick, but I have never been good with change. For goodness sake, I cried on my first day of sixth grade because I was scared of having to memorize a new building. I then moved 16 hours away; talk about a huge change! Eager to live my home of 18 years, I was ready to begin again. I loved Cincinnati and change was always hard for me but I thought this time I could handle it.
A 937-mile drive took nearing 16 hours and I arrived at my new home. It was beautiful and I could sense a good vibe surrounding the Ruskin home. As I unpacked my boxes and organized the empty bedroom, I only had one week until college started. I was so eager to meet new friends and finally start my life, the way I wanted it to be.
After a month of school, fall semester began and I knew this meant I would be rushing to find my home away from home. All ten houses seemed lovely at first and as sorority recruitment went by I found my place in Gamma Phi Beta. I ran home with a friend I made over summer and the girl that I ran home to also became my big. I am slowly falling in love with Gamma Phi Beta and after being initiated this past weekend, I finally realized what an impactful commitment I have made.
Today I was shopping when I came across a canvas filled with all 50 states and their state flowers; that is when I noticed something remarkable. Right over where Cincinnati should be there was a carnation. I could not make out whether or not it was red, violet, pink, whatever it may be. I knew it hit home, though.
The minute I arrived to my house, I searched online for Ohio’s state flower -- it is a scarlet carnation. Gamma Phi Beta’s flower is a pink carnation. These two flowers strike my heart in such a powerful way. Both the sorority and state flower being a carnation allows me to see a direct link between my home and my new home. Although they are not the same color, I think the red carnation does fit best back home with the Cincinnati Red’s and Ohio State Buckeyes and the pink belongs here with me as it is my favorite color, and what holds me close to my new sisters. I envision the “color change” of going from red to pink as my emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual changes I have made and continue to make every day. As days pass, I become more and more of the woman I aspire to be, and less of the child I once was.
I do think running home to Gamma Phi Beta was the best choice for me as it is now a deeper meaning of “home” for me. When my sisters now say Gamma Phi Beta is their “home away from home,” I will think of it as my actual home and where I belong. I hope to visit Cincinnati again someday and show all my old friends the beautiful realization I made today.
Gamma Phi Beta was not my first choice, but after all the welcoming and relationships I have already developed, I would never want to leave, and now that I know Ohio and Gamma Phi Beta have something in common, I can see me staying involved and loving GPB even more than I already do.
