10 Stages Everyone Goes Through When They Have A New Crush

10 Stages Everyone Goes Through When They Have A New Crush

You cannot make real words around someone you think is cute.
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Crushing on someone else is a normal part of life. Sometimes, it turns into something more. Other times, you realize that the person isn't all you thought they were. Crushes can last for days, months, or even years. Regardless of the outcome or duration, your crush is put on a pedestal in your mind for a period of time. Your crush can do no wrong! They are the quintessence of all you have searched for in a soulmate. Got your infatuate in mind? Good, because these are the inevitable stages of crushing hardcore!

1. The introduction

You were just standing there, minding your own business, when Mr./Mrs. Perfect has to come waltzing in on your perfectly drab situation. You couldn't have seen it coming! It was crush at first sight...

2. Stalking harder than the FBI

No agency nor secret organization hath the stealth and efficiency of someone with a crush. Your fingers fly over your keyboard in a desperate search for your crush's social media, armed with only their first name and license plate number.

3. Making social media posts as bait

You heard your crush loves rock climbing so you pull out the Chacos from 7th grade and snap a pic to prove your love and level of granola.

4. Losing your mind when they walk by

STOP. STARING.

5. The first conversation (that mostly consists of unintelligible sounds on your part)

Stutter and stammer all you want to. YOU CANNOT MAKE REAL WORDS AROUND SOMEONE YOU THINK IS CUTE.

6. Your friends totally know something's up

You can try to deny it, but the people closest to you know that you NEVER smile this much.

7. The love songs you used to hate all start to make sense

How could you not have realized that 00s country Taylor Swift was such a lyrical genius?

8. You start planning your future with them

You don't even know their middle name, but you know you want to have babies with them. A boy and a girl, Carter and Isabella, respectively.

9. They become the topic of every conversation

In your head, the things you say about your crush make for a Hollywood-caliber love story! Whether or not your listeners care about their beautiful eyes or luscious hair is irrelevant. You just need someone to listen to you fangirl.

10a. Shoot your shot

You've watched this beautiful creature at a distance for far too long! It's your time to GO IN! You don't know what the outcome will be, but you know getting some feelings off your chest will be worth it in the end.

10b. You realize why they're not the one


At this point in the crush timeline, you've probably discovered a character flaw you couldn't see past your love goggles. Maybe he is known across campus for cheating, or she thrives on attention from others. However you slice it, this person is NOT your other half and you know it!

Having feelings for someone else is a rollercoaster of emotions that you are never prepared for, but in the end, what's meant to happen will happen. Sometimes, things work out perfectly and you end up with someone to do life with. Other times, your dreams are crushed by the harsh reality of imperfect people, and you learn to get over it.

Either way, loving yourself and the things most important to you is VITAL before ever getting involved with someone else. When you learn to cherish your own life, you can begin to invest in someone else's. Wishing you all the crush-tastic experiences in the world!

Cover Image Credit: @whitjeng/Instagram

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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