These Are The Dynamics Of A Happy Relationship

These Are The Dynamics Of A Happy Relationship

It's not just love that keeps a relationship afloat.


I would like to begin by saying that this piece is not directed for abusive relationships or for couples who are poisonous to one-another. If you believe your partner is abusive, narcissistic, or has a poisonous personality, it's best to step away from that relationship or seek professional help. Instead, I would like to discuss my ideas on what makes a couple happy and well-functioning and how to improve that connection. Sometimes a relationship can flourish but instead we abandon it too quickly because we might not know how to work on it.

We have all heard that the most important thing in a relationship is communication, and if you haven't heard it before, here I am with the news. We should step a little further back and begin with love as being the central connection between the couple, but note that it's not enough to keep the relationship happy. Before you decide whether or not you should work on the relationship or improving the relationship, make sure you and your significant other share love.

Over the course of your relationship, that love will shift and change, you'll see it fluctuate in different levels. I believe that this is a normal thing because people change. There will be periods of time that you or your partner might become depressed. Worries will develop from the external world or the internal self, which will cause a shift in emotions and views. There are also different stages in a relationship, like the beginning phase of discovery and excitement. Then there's a stage of balancing and harmonizing with each other's habits. Then there's a point when you two become used to each other. Of course, there's much more, but these are some key phases. Most importantly though, whether the love increases or decreases a little, make sure that the love is still there and the relationship isn't just wastefully running time.

And now, we dive back into communication and all the other steps that we can take to make sure that the loving couple sustains a healthy and happy relationship.

I've noticed that not all of us have proper education on a healthy relationship, and if we never had a real-life example, we get ideas of what love is from the movies. These ideas have been seeping into our brains for years and we think this must be what love means. It's not. Many times, our partners will sense when we feel down, when we need something, or when we want to have surprises. It won't happen all the time, although we may dream. How do we get to the point of understanding our partners wants and needs? We communicate with them.

When you feel like you haven't received enough attention, let your partner know. When you feel like the world is on your shoulders and that's why you haven't been able to give attention, let your partner know. You'll be amazed at how much work can be done, as a team, by simply voicing your concerns. Don't let the concerns bottle up and explode in a moment of fury; notice the patterns and have an adult conversation. There are other issues and concerns you may want to address, but this was just one example.

Equally as important to voicing your concerns and communicating them, let your partner know what you hope to get from the relationship. Let them know what you like about them, try to boost the positive things they bring to the relationship so their efforts get recognized and rewarded. People need affirmation and guidance on the rights and wrongs. No one can read minds.

Besides the common but necessary communication advice, use the element of surprise. One of you might be better than the other at surprises, but it should come from both sides. Pack a bag and take a spontaneous weekend road trip. Turn off all the tech, light some candles, and give him or her a back rub (even if they didn't ask). Learn a new recipe and whip it up. Try somewhere new to eat for dinner instead of the restaurant you both enjoy. If it's tasty, then what a wonderful shared experience, and if it's awful, you'll have a story for a long time.

Space is another element to practice. I get why it's nice to always be around your loved one because honestly, I can be a needy person sometimes as I'm sure there are others like this. But the relationship has three parts, you, the other, and you together. Leave room for you to be you, and for him or her to be their self. When you give one-another room, you hit a refresh button on yourselves and on the relationship.

Make sure that the relationship has respect and understanding. It sounds so simple, but sometimes we can forget. We must discipline ourselves to be better to ourselves and to those around us. If I can harshly criticize and put myself down, and I love myself the most, then what makes me believe I won't do so to others. Make sure you give your significant other the respect that we sometimes forget to give ourselves. That means listen to their interests, respect their bodies and boundaries, engage in the things important to them such as their work or passion. And when your partner speaks, actively listen and comprehend their words to understand them.

Try to engage these things in your relationship and you might notice a difference in its quality. Relationships take work to function. Work towards a happier and healthier relationship because when we give up or stop trying, the relationship will fall apart.

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5 Powerful Rihanna Songs That Prove Relationships Ain't Easy

"I still love you, but I just can't do this."


Relationships aren't perfect. They can be painful and aggravating. They can be problematic and detrimental to our mental health.

Of course, relationships require a great deal of time and commitment to maintain, but if you're not with the love of your life, is it even worth it?

Here are five beautifully powerful Rihanna songs that prove relationships are harder than they look.

1. "Take A Bow"

"Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not // Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught"

2. "Stupid In Love"

"I still love you, but I just can't do this"

3. "Rehab"

"I never gave myself to another the way I gave it to you // You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? // It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back // And you're the one to blame"

4. "Te Amo"

"I understand that we all need love and I'm not afraid // I feel the love but I don't feel that way"

5. "Stay"

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving // 'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"

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Ariana Grande Wrote A Song About Her Exes And I Can't Even Get Asked On A Date

Thank u, next.


2018 is not my year. Actually, I don't think any year has ever been "my year". But specifically, this year has really shown me how absolutely and forever alone I am going to be.

Everyone is graduating, getting engaged, getting married, having kids, and overall living their best lives. Meanwhile I'm still struggling to get up before noon or talk to a boy.

To be fair, I haven't really been one to seek out relationships in the past. I get awkward and distant as soon as someone so much as glances in my direction. I never had a boyfriend in high school (or ever), so I've never had much practice when it comes to being in a relationship.

But I thought that would change in college.

Ok, so I wasn't expecting to be asked out on dates left and right or have boys follow me around, but I thought at the least I could get out of my small town where everybody knew everybody and experience life for my own. I saw dating as synonymous with college, I mean, it was where everyone found their future partners right?

Sadly, I was mistaken. Sure, a few boys asked me out and I went on a few dates, but nothing ever seemed to go according to plan.

I got busy. And scared. And a million other excuses to not go on dates. I said no. I stopped caring. I would drag on the relationship until they eventually got bored or frustrated with me. It was not pretty, and I eventually just got comfortable with that routine.

We would talk, I would get scared or bored, and then we'd have the inevitable fallout. And for most of my college career, I was completely okay with this system. I focused on school and myself and I was okay with that.

But going into my last semester of college, I feel like I missed out on something, like I'm behind. All my friends are going into new stages in their lives, while I'm stuck here trying to figure out what's next. Of course I'm happy for my friends who know what job they want or for those that have gotten married, but it sucks to feel like I don't have a direction.

I know a boy isn't going to change that. I'm not going to suddenly go on a date and find my purpose or my husband. I know this. But sometimes a girl just wants to get coffee or see a movie and feel special.

I know I'm possibly the worst person to be in a relationship with. I suck at communicating, I get caught up in my head, I really don't like being social, and I probably shower less than the average human. I'm picky. But I'm not going to waste my time on dating boys who I can't see a future with.

I want to date with purpose and conviction. I want to fall in love and have it be meaningful. I want to date and get married and have kids, but not if it's with someone that's not in it for the long run or able to bring out the best parts of me.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned or just delusional, but I think Ariana was on to something when she said, "thank u, next". I'm willing to wait until it's with the right person. It doesn't take almost getting engaged to tell me that.

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