I’m trying to get back in shape. Whatever shape that is, I’m not sure yet; preferably a smaller shape. I want to avoid anything round. Anyway, you might be thinking: “Jade, why do you have to work out? You are so wonderful the way you are!” Well, thank you kind reader. But the truth is I am not pleased with myself. To say the least, at the ripe age of 22, I have let myself go. Probably because I moved in with my significant other three years ago and I just didn't need to try anymore; or maybe what they say about college is true, “You will gain 15 or more pounds and you will not like it!” In high school I started out kind of chubby but lost all my baby fat and looked like I could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition (just kidding). But really, I was playing three sports, wasn’t eating much because I was depressed, and I wanted boys to like me. Was it a great time? Not so much. But did I look good? Sure. What I’m getting at is I have become super lazy in not taking care of myself. In high school, playing sports helped my depression and boosted my energy. In college I became really consumed in my classes, attempting to make friends, and being stressed, I didn’t take time to eat healthy or exercise. If I could go back three years when I moved to Berkeley and tell Jade then that it’s a lot harder to lose the weight than eating an entire box of cereal in the morning, I would. But there’s no use in dwelling in the past. What’s eaten has been eaten, and now it’s my turn to reclaim my body and make it on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Okay, I don’t really aspire to be a swimsuit model, although I could and would totally nail it. The truth is: I’m getting married. I am getting married next year and I want to fit into the most beautiful lace, fitted gown possible. While it seems like so long until then, there is so much more preparation and events that have to be attended before I walk down the aisle that I also have to look good for. Engagement party, engagement photos, dress shopping, bridal party, and bachelorette parties, all which include photos to be taken and pretty dresses to be worn. To top it off, there is also food at most of the events so if you even want a bite of something delicious you better be healthy and have something called a “cheat day”. While currently every day is a cheat day, I have to break those bad habits and begin new ones. If I don’t, my fiancé might change his mind and I might have to wear a habit (nun joke). In all seriousness this is long overdue. The days of fast teenage metabolism have ended and I need to really start taking care of myself. Which shouldn't be that hard with all that I have to look forward to in the coming months, right? Wrong.

There are a lot of working components of getting healthy: eating right, exercise, a consistent sleep schedule, and so on. While it sounds so easy, I need a whole lot of motivation. First thing I’d like to complain about is my sleep schedule. Sleeping is one of my top five favorite things to do. I love it, I can’t get enough. Some say I am the nap queen. If NASA was going to pay me to sleep in one of the tube things and monitor my brain waves for a year, I would gladly do it for free. That is how much I love sleeping. But in order to be healthy and lose weight you need a healthy sleep cycle, a full eight hours and no naps. This also means I can’t stay up until two a.m. watching Game of Thrones and eating saltine crackers in bed. Out of all the things I mentioned that will be difficult for me, sleep will probably be the most challenging.

Next, eating healthy, one of those two words I don’t like. If you guessed that I hate the word healthy you are correct! I guess I shouldn't say I hate it though, I actually love fruits and vegetables but I love them on my own terms. I don’t love them when I know I have to eat them. I actually haven't had red meat or pork in over eight years. I’m the first one to say, “Heck yeah I want to go to Whole Foods and spend $40 on two items!” or “Add some extra kale in my smoothie!” but only on my terms and usually these terms come around every couple of months. In other words I am very inconsistent. I love waking up at 8 a.m. to silently sneak into the kitchen and devour a chocolate bar by myself and go back to sleep. I can’t be the only one who does that! But it’s terrible and I shouldn't do it. I also shouldn't say yes to dessert at restaurants or have a second cupcake, but I am only human. Eating healthy will also be very difficult for me. So if you have any amazing recipes please leave a comment below.

My last complaint is the gym. Life was so much easier when I just went to the pool or the sports field after school where I had to show up if I wanted to play in the game or swim in the meet. But now it’s a free for all, going to the gym or not going, is a choice and usually it’s the latter. My gym is filled with older men who moan while working out and older women who stare at you if your shorts are too short. The drive over is usually torture because for one thing I hate driving. It’s also an opportunity to still turn around and go back home, when you know you shouldn’t. I’ve have never done that, because once I’m driving I might as well go. But in all honesty, driving there and actually walking into the gym is the hardest part. Once I get going I like it and once it is over I usually feel extremely motivated. So while this complaint is tiny compared to the others, the gym isn't terrible, and I get to people watch (which is always fun!).

So, come on this journey with me of living a healthy and happy lifestyle. If you're struggling with your appearance, trust me I understand and I feel for you. But guess what? You have the power to change yourself for the better. You have control over how you feel. That’s something I say to myself, almost like a mantra, to help me get through the temptations of carbs and sugar. With a little motivation and lots of willpower, we can do this!