This author turned 24 a couple months ago. As usual, I did some retrospective thinking and realized that my oldest nephew will be a high school freshman next month. At first, I was in slight denial because I, too, was a lowly freshman not too long ago, right? Then I realized: all of that was a long fucking time ago. Almost ten years, in fact. This past June marked five years since I graduated.

There are truths that I’ve unknowingly come to realize in this time, and most of it isn’t rainbows and sunshine. In fact, it’s basically all things I don’t want to believe in. Adulthood came to me with some resistance. But the world isn’t full of things to cater to you—sometimes things cannot be changed and they proceed beyond our sense of control. Truths that are bigger than we are, whether it’s moral beliefs or community based ideas. Things that impact the way you live your life, whether you realize it or not. The only thing you can really do is decide how you’re going to react to it all.

So, without further ado, here we go.

1. The World Doesn’t Owe You Shit and No One Cares About You

I cannot stress this one enough.

I frequently hear people complain about basically everything. Raging about things that should’ve happened or things that they were denied. Well, sorry buddy, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. It’s not going to shape itself to accommodate to your needs. That’s your job, not everyone else’s.

Yes, I know. I’ve been there. One memory that always shocks me is the time my best friend died. I was thinking about it and realized that I kept living despite all of that. I somehow kept going to work, pulled my double shifts, and attended school. I realized then that I couldn’t ask the world to stop for me. It’s not going to wait for me to catch up. I remember standing in line at the grocery store and thinking, “I’m going through this awful crisis and these strangers don’t know. How can the cashier smile at me like that? Doesn’t anyone care?” No, 20-year-old me, no one cares.

It’s horrible, and I wish people wouldn’t have to go through these things, but it’s true. If I didn’t do those things, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t have been able to pay my bills, my cumulative GPA would’ve suffered, and so on. We do these things because we have to, not because we want to. Don’t expect to have things happen for you if you’re not making the effort to find them yourself.

2. Alternatively, You Need to Care About Others

Yeah, I know I just ranted that no one else cares, but everyone has an opportunity—nay, duty—to their fellow man. Compassion. Empathy. Sympathy. Patience. These things are the basic foundation for selflessness. You could be that asshole who only looks out for themselves, sure. Go ahead and do it; these “rules” I’m listing aren’t etched in stone. But, there’s something special about providing for others, volunteering your time, donating to charity, or just being plain nice.

Strip away the facade of the everyday and try it. Once, I asked a Target cashier how they were doing. I made eye contact and made sure to use an actual genuine tone, not that polite small-talk crap. She stared at me for a beat then said she was upset because her dog had just died. I gave my condolences, offered her a hug, and when we embraced she practically slumped into my shoulder. Sometimes people need that connection. Why not be that person to someone in need? After all, we’re all going through this mess together, no?

3. You’ll Be Admitted into “Adult Land” Without Realizing

You know that time you were walking around that theme park and somehow found yourself standing in a section of the park you had no idea existed? It’s typically themed and separate from the rest of the property with its own rides and such. Adulthood is like that and whew, boy, it slips right by you.
A month ago, my sister and I were driving around and went past an x-ray clinic. I thought back to a year prior when I was diagnosed with PCOS and had to go get an ultrasound to see how “advanced” it was. Then I thought of my budget—do I have enough money for my insurance premium in October? I should really deposit some funds into my money market account.

Then I realized, holy shit, I did all of that by myself. Granted, I’ve been on my own since I was 17 or so. But now I have several bills to pay. What possessed me to even go back to college? I don’t know, but I did it. And now that I’m this far ahead, I can’t give up any time soon. I feel like a big kid surrounded by obligations and duties. Others will be affected if I do not act on my responsibility. I can still sit with my bowl of Lucky Charms and watch "Courage the Cowardly Dog" on TV all I want, but in the back of my mind, I’m planning my monthly budget. It really does sneak up on you.

4. Use Your Body

This one may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how often people neglect this. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you’re invincible. I know you feel that way, though. I used to, as well. But your body is constantly changing, and at this point, it’s not going uphill. So there’s only one other direction it can go, yeah?

Back in high school, I had a fun schedule: go to class, eat off the McDonald’s dollar menu, drink tons of vodka or beer or whatever with my friends, stay up till 2 a.m., wake up at 7 a.m., and do it all over again. I have plenty of memories of partying all night, sleeping in till 5 p.m., then doing it three days in a row and living like that Nina Simone song. I felt awesome.

Now? I get eyestrain from playing video games too long. My tailbone cracks when I’m laying down. I went from having zero hangovers (and being infamous for it), to now always having one. That one-pound bag of Sour Patch Kids? Ten years ago, I would’ve gladly eaten only that for days on end. Now? I know better than that. The idea is like implied torture. Know your limits.

5. 30 Really is the New 20

Also, 40 doesn’t look too bad, either. In high school, 25 was considered “old” for me. They were real adults at that point. They had shit figured out! (Ha!) A few years after graduation I found myself dating a 30-year-old and had a good handful of friends who were married, had kids, and were over 40 or 50. Regardless of age, all people are just that...people. Age doesn’t equal maturity or intelligence or potential. I’ve met plenty of folks in their 40s who are just as immature as a teenager and vice versa. It’s hard to see it any other way when your oldest sister is 37 and your Irish twin is only 26. We’re all still kids at heart, which leads up to my next point.

6. No One Knows What They’re Doing

You know that saying, “fake it till you make it?” Yup. That’s pretty much adulthood. When I say we’re all just kids at heart, I mean it. Go ahead and ask your parents how they did it. How did they become the adults they are now? Odds are, they’ll say they just did it. The only real way to survive is to wing it. You have to figure it out on your own. You have to learn “how to adult.” Do you know how to open an IRA? Why is it important? Did you know you can refinance your student loans? What’s appropriate attire to attend a Broadway musical? How are you supposed to act with your married friends (this one is actually important)? You’ll figure it out in time, but try not to panic when you realize you made a mistake—learn from it. They’re lessons, not errors. You can ask others for advice, but know that they’ll typically be vastly different. Pick apart the details, scrutinize and praise each point, and decide what you want to believe in.

I enjoy getting older. I thought it’d be this terrible experience, but it really isn’t. When I was 15, I thought I’d have my college degree, a nice used car, and possibly engaged by the time I was 24. I’d certainly have my career in motion. Now? I’m only halfway through school. I drive a 1999 Volkswagen Beetle that has no A/C. Relationships? I had a few serious ones (and one of my partners actually brought up marriage), but for the most part, I really don’t have time for one. And it turns out I’m still happy and really don’t care. The idea of having all of those things now actually stresses me out. I’m not ready for such large commitments yet.

So what am I doing? I’m doing things bit by bit. My mentor once told me, “There’s no definite timeline.” Now I believe that to be true. Refer back to my fifth point—I’ll have plenty of time to get my life going. Age doesn’t define success.

What’s my favorite part? Well, overall it’s a pretty sweet gig. I feel like a bird released from its cage. I’m free to explore the world as I see fit. The only thing really stopping me is how I choose to act. I decided to just wing it.