As unusual as it may seem, I went the entire four years of college without having a significant other, going on a date, or even having a serious crush. I was never one of those people that necessarily wanted to remain single in college, but that's how it worked out. Even now after I've graduated, I still have mixed feelings about it. I wish I could say that it never bothered me and I was always fine with it, but in reality, I have gone back and forth between feeling this way and feeling sad, angry, and confused. I see a lot of posts from single college students talking about the benefits of being unattached, and there are many, but less commonly discussed are the sucky things that aren't as easy to admit. Here are some of the realities of being single in college, based on my experience.
It's easy to feel bitter towards other people.
You're waiting in the food line at the student union and see a cute couple holding hands. You go on social media and see yet another person you know is engaged. Sometimes when I'm in these situations, instead of feeling happy that these people have found an awesome S.O. or their life partner, I'm just jealous that it's not me. The resentment can really weigh me down.
In certain situations, you feel lonely.
Yeah, watching a movie alone isn't too bad, but it's more fun when you have someone to address your commentary to and snuggle with. It's even worse to be third-wheeling with a couple and being sad that you don't have your half.
It's easy to be hard on yourself.
It sucks to think that you're single because there is something wrong with you. If I was more this or less of that, would I have a boyfriend right now? This thinking is really toxic and has never made me feel better about myself.
There are moments and times that you're grateful for it.
When my friends in relationships have told me about some of the stupid and hurtful things their boyfriends have done, it makes me rather glad that I'm not in a position for my feelings to get hurt like theirs. Yet, sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on the many positive things that having a boyfriend can bring about.
You're free to do whatever you want, but often with no one.
Because I don't have another person to check my schedule with so to speak, I can do whatever and hang out with whoever. Especially being young, it's really nice to have that freedom. But if I want to do something with my friends and they're all busy, I'm forced to do the thing alone whereas if I was in a relationship, I'd be able to do the thing with my S.O.
You know that it won't always be this way.
While it's not always the easiest thing to be single, I know that someday, I'll have a great guy to spend my time with. In the meantime, I'm going to try my best to keep the negativity out of my mind and enjoy being with myself.