I've always known that I was the only person that had any real power over my self. Despite challenges and discouraging situations, I still try to see the good in everything. This is not something that I do to "look strong". This is something I do to maintain my sense of self, and purpose in the world.

Positive thinking is not a magical cure all for your worldly problems. It will not stop you from making bad decisions or keep others from hurting you. It will not make your career, or even make you a good parent.

But, I can tell you what it will do. It will allow you to live your days with out regret, to accept things you cannot change and not allow them to weigh you down like chains on your ankles. It will allow you to accept your own flaws, and to accept others too. Positive thinking can make you a much more intelligent person because it will allow you to learn from others instead of shutting everything out that you are 'uncomfterable' with.

While I respect everyone's 'coping' strategies, I do want to tell you what positive thinking is not. Its not social media. Its not posting quotes on a daily basis to attract likes and shares and get attention from your friends, its not asking for prayers online just for the attention, its not pretending that you feel beautiful and posting a million selfies made up with #lovemyself. It has nothing to do with these types of actions and everything to do with what you feel on the inside.

When you truly feel positive, feel good, accept yourself... you do not need others approval or recognition. Your self recognition is all you need. Now, don't get me wrong I love a good complement here and there, and I myself post inspirational quotes from time to time. I am not condemning these actions. But unless you can feel all the way down deep in your core, that the one person you need in this life is yourself. When you can walk around, out in public, without worrying if someone is making fun of you, or thinks your ugly...all those pretend self love 'posts' mean nothing at all.

Regardless of all the equality, pro women, pro inner beauty ,feminists or any other group out there, they can't help you unless you commit to yourself first. Being happy, is a choice.

Even when the world has thrown everything at us, even when we wake up and have nothing left, we can choose that day to be happy. We can choose to embrace moments that go unrecognized, unappreciated. We can take that deep breath when we are driving to work and the sun is coming up and it hits our face just right, and you can feel its energy and really just be thankful for breathing.

Now before you start raking me on the coals, and school me on mental illness and say 'its not that easy'... I know.

I know its not easy, It has never been easy for me to stay positive, it has never been easy to remember to take a deep breath and be thankful that I am breathing. Some days, I literally will be crying, tears streaming down my face, scared, lonely and lost. And I tell my self over and over and over, this is not the end, this is not the worst, that I can overcome anything, and nothing will tear me apart. Sometimes my tears stop, and sometimes they don't. Choices are not easy. No one said they were easy. They will never be easy. Life is not easy, it will never be.

You will not always be able to allow yourself the happiness it deserves, some days you will give up and fail and be miserable. What matters most? The effort you put into your self. I'm talking the true, gritty, truthful, stinging acceptance of who you are. Acknowledging every vice, every freckle, every lump of cellulite. Every emotion, every reaction. I cant stress enough, that being happy and being positive really has nothing to do with what you say, what you post, what you put out there. It doesn't matter how tolerant, or accepting the world is. It doesn't matter if you have found the Love of your life or not. It all begins with you, deep down, stripped, naked, vulnerable. It begins in your core.

I choose to be happy, everyday, even when I feel like closing my eyes and giving up. I have learned to find joy, in the smallest of things. I will smile at a random stranger taking a photo, watching a pelican fish, or any other seemingly trivial thing. Instead of cursing the cold air, I let it send shivers up by spine and enjoy the sensation, when its hot, I embrace the sun, I sweat with no remorse and welcome chirps of the crickets at night.

I know some of you who might deal with mental disorders, and mental health issues, will criticize me and say I have no idea what I am talking about. And maybe I don't. But maybe, if you've been struggling with anxiety or depression, you could really try to find something good in the bad. It wont take away the attacks, or the boughts of depression. It wont make you not have a mental illness. But maybe, if you can find something positive in your pain. Maybe you can live your days a little happier. Maybe it will be easier to cope, and maybe not.

But, I know this. Negativity and Positivity seep into you, and everyone around you like osmosis. Our feelings and emotions put off energy and we can feel that when we are close to others. So we get what others put out there, and others get what we give.

Just remember a smile is always the most beautiful things about you.