We tend to forget what really matters. It is easy to let distractions and outside noise take over our focus. We think these things are what matter most to us, and we slowly lose track of what should be our actual points of focus. It takes time, but we begin to realize that these distractions are, in fact, only distractions. At first, we deny it. We tell ourselves that these things make us happy. That the higher paying job, the bigger house, the expensive sports car—these are the type of things that will maximize our happiness.
Not everyone will be rich. We can’t all afford to live in mansions in the Hamptons, we can't all be CEOs of high-end companies, and we can't all drive Ferraris. We all, however, have the ability to be happy. And as human beings, it is our innate nature to want to be happy. The only issue is that our society’s idea or perception of happiness has been corrupted and misconstrued. We’ve become so enamored by the materialistic aspect of the American Dream, that we forgot what it is really all about. Happiness is not directly proportional to material possessions. The American Dream is more about spiritual happiness than material goods.
Happiness is the key to flourishing in life. We have to realize that we will live a happier life when, and only when, we realize the importance of relationships. What matters most in this world is relationships. We have to build functional and positive relationships not only with ourselves but also with others.
Forget money. Forget anything that money can buy. Think of relationships. Relationships with family. Relationships with friends and loved ones. We hear all the time that money cannot buy happiness. Money cannot and will never make us happy. It can create an illusion of happiness, or a feeling of a fleeting happiness that never seems to be fully satisfied.
While relationships with others have the ability to make us happy, no one is control of our happiness other than ourselves. Our happiness is our own responsibilities. We cannot expect it to come from an outside source—it has to come from within. We cannot rely on others to create our happiness--the relationships we share with others should only positively enhance our current states.
Happiness is not perfection. You will have bad days. You will be stressed and overwhelmed with life. Happiness does not have a face. Happiness can feel and look different to everyone. But happiness for everyone is the realization that life is fine, just the way it is.
We cannot let the outside noise and distractions that challenge our happiness take us away from the relationships that matter to us most. Even if we love ourselves, a life without meaningful relationships is an unfulfilled life. To be able to truly love and care for someone (whether it is a parent, sibling, friend or significant other) and have that reciprocated is a feeling that compares to no other. It is a true feeling of happiness.
We have to realize that the happiness material items brings us is fleeting. Within a week of having the newest iPhone or iPad, the item begins to appeal less and less to us. We no longer get the same happiness from this item, and we are continuing to try to fill this void.
Recalling past experiences with people that we love, gives us a similar sensation to the initial one that we felt towards that new item we had purchased. Thinking of our last family vacation, a night out with your closet friends-- this has the ability to fill us with that "warm-fuzzy feeling." This is because we value people and experiences over objects, and this type of feeling is one that will stay.
