We've all heard these at some time or another.
"Cheer up."
"Be positive."
"It's all in your head."
However, what happens when it's not in your head?
We've all become accustomed to feeling like sadness is wrong. If we feel the slightest hint of sadness, anger, or stress, we panic. Subconsciously (or perhaps consciously), we tell ourselves that we shouldn't be feeling this way. There's something that we need to do, there's something that we need to fix. We often hold it in and we feel isolated. We feel like our emotions are wrong and we shouldn't be feeling them.
Is sadness wrong?
Most people tend to have a "fix it" mindset and, in some situations, that helps. Many negative feelings can be resolved if the feelings result from a resolvable situation. For example, most college students say that their biggest stressors are grades and schoolwork. However, school-related issues are often easily resolved. Stay ahead on your work, be prepared, and don't procrastinate. Not all problems have such obvious solutions.
Some situations are simply out of our control, like personal loss and disappointments. We all know that. We all know that life has its ups and downs. Deep down, we all know that many of these ups and downs are unavoidable. However, we don't seem to manage our emotions with that mindset. We're just taught to turn that frown upside down and go on about our day.
Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no sympathy for those who go out of their way to wallow in self-pity. People who undeservedly play the victim to get attention are some of the worst people who exist. I don't, however, believe that life is entirely what you make it.
I believe100 percent that having a positive outlook will improve anyone's life. The problem is that some events are simply out of our control. We can't fix everything. You can't always be happy with where you are in life (mentally or physically) or what you're achieving. You can change your work ethic, you can exercise, you can meditate, and you can put on an aggressively and outrageously positive front, but sometimes it's more than that.
Sometimes, you just need to be sad.
Be positive whenever it's possible. Find a support system and use it. Absolutely solve your problems if that's at all possible. However, what I'm saying is that we don't need to hide from sadness, from disappointment, from anger, from frustration, or from any other emotion.
We can't all be aggressively and outrageously positive all the time. We just need to recognize and accept that we're sad and know that it shall pass.
Who knows, maybe a good cry is exactly what you need to feel better.
