Relationship stories

6 Guys Open Up About Their First Love Experience

"Initially, I didn't understand why she was nervous at first but now I get it."

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"First time I met her was in the dining hall. I saw one of my boys. She just started to me and I was going to ask her for her number but she was with my friend and I didn't want to be disrespectful.

I was with my boys. We were looking for things to do, just chillen playing music. One of my boys knew this girl who had playing cards so we were all chillen at the apartment. The whole time me and her were having a conversation and stuff. We kept talking nonstop.

Eventually, we talked til about 9-10 in the morning and I'm not that talkative, I keep to myself. We continually talked and I would see her every day.

After a week or two, I opened up to her and told her stuff I haven't told anyone else and she did the same in return.

I basically moved in with her. My friends never saw me. I was always with her so much to the point where we started talking. I was hanging out with my friends one day but I kept thinking I just really wanna be with my girl so I left early to just chill with her.

For the summer, I've never done distance and distance was a b****. Don't get me wrong, it was very good for a while but with distance, there's a lot more work that's required. I know on my part there was little small stuff that I wasn't paying attention to.

One day we had a conversation and she told me that she didn't feel like I was all there or paying attention. It was probably the greatest time but the worst time at the same so we decided to take a step back to get to know each other more as friends.

She was already nervous about the relationship at first because of her belief in God. It made her nervous because until the year before I had a lukewarm relationship when it came to God. Initially, I didn't understand why she was nervous at first but now I get it."

-22, Single


"We were really good friends at first. We had classes together. I first got to know her through her friend and through her friend I realized we had the same class so we started talking. Nothing extravagant or romantic.

Sometimes she would start acting weird like grabbing my s*** or taking my s***. One time she grabbed my keys and ran all the way to my dorm, used my fob, and ran to my room. I was actually mad because I was trying to go somewhere and she just ran through my room. I was really upset with her. I left and she left a whole voicemail apologizing. That's excessive so I figured.

One time my family wasn't doing so well health wise so I was feeling down and said I was just going to sleep it off and I was about to go and she was like "no no no just come" and then I went with her to her room.

Then that became a common thing and one day she just told me she really liked me and one day she wanted to tell me something but was kinda scared and I figured it out and we started dating.

She was a best friend at first because that's what we were before. She really knew me. We were good for some time until she started annoying me. She started asking for too much and doing too much. I felt like her love was materialistic and while I didn't have a problem with that, it just got tiring/draining. If I added up how much stuff I bought for her it would be too much. I bought her a lot of clothes and shoes and spent a lot of money on her.

Idk why I assumed the role as a provider. We got a whole dog together and treated it like it was our kid. I took notes for her in class. She would be sleep and I would be up studying for her for the test we had the next day. The energy I put in wasn't reciprocated. I was in over my head. She was making me something I didn't want to be.

We broke up several times but I finally finalized it one day.

My advice would be don't be pressed for love. You literally have your own life to better yourself, to go get your goals because once you start loving, you don't lose yourself but you can lose opportunities. You should never be too pressed for finding somebody. You should be able to be on your own and self-sufficient and when you do like somebody please be your own person. Don't lose yourself. Have your own goals. Do things for yourself and she can do the same."

-22, Single


"I was in high school. I met her in middle school and we had a crush on each other. I moved away and then I came back to North Carolina. We ended up going to the same high school and then we started talking and then we started dating and I really loved that girl.

She took my virginity so I was always down for her. About 6 months into the relationship, mind you my close friends and family members told me that she wasn't the one for me because she was cheating on me, but I was being naive about it saying "I don't believe it til I see it".

So I was spending money on her and taking her out everywhere and taking her to prom. She was the first girl I took to prom and come to find out she cheated on me with my own cousin. She f***** like four basketball players on the same team I'm on.

She was cheating on me the whole year I was dating her and I was close with that cousin and I was cool with the basketball players she cheated on me with. This is my first love so of course I was hurt as f*** and even after I found all that out we broke up and I told her I still wanted to give her another chance because I was just that in love with her and that didn't end up working out. She moved away.

The advice I would give other people is know who you're dating and understand what their motives are. Make sure that it's best for you."

-22, Single


"I met her at school, in high school. We were crushing on each other but would never say anything. I was kind of shy then.

I finally went up to her and asked her about going to the dance and stuff. First, she said no and then she got her friend to come to tell me yeah. I ended up taking her and after that night she felt like I wasn't like other guys.

So we started talking and our first date I took her out to eat and we started getting close. She told me she lost both her parents so we live with her grandma and her aunt. So I'm very encouraged because my mom was like that. I would always encourage her as a friend.

She would hit me up through the night and one time she said she wanted to kill her self or hurt herself so I made her way over there to stop her from doing it and talk her down and I guess me talking to her a lot motivated her to be a stronger person.

We never really got into an argument. We got into one argument and I was like man look at us arguing over something stupid.

Her aunt got a job so they had to move. She was going to stay down here with her grandma and said to me if you want me to stay I'll stay and I kept saying what's better for you which was going with her aunt because her grandma could only do but so much.

I figured it was going to happen and I kind of distanced myself and I kept encouraging her to go with her aunt because she would have more opportunities if she went with her. At the end of the summer, my girlfriend, her aunt, her grandma, my mother, and I, we all had a big goodbye dinner.

I would rather her have a better opportunity than stay and struggle.

My advice would be that if you love someone then you would tell them what to do what's best for them. I felt like what if she stays down here and we don't make it?"

-22, Single


"She was my best friend since 7th grade. We hung out a lot and spent a lot of time together and towards my sophomore year in high school, we started getting closer.

She and I were really good friends and liked her a lot, but I was hesitant to ask her out because I was afraid the relationship would ruin the friendship we had. I honestly just wanted to be friends even without benefits because at that time because I just wasn't ready to be at that point with her yet. I wanted to spend more time with her in a romantic capacity seeing we always did things platonically.

She kept urging "our friends think we would be really good together!" and I said ok, If I love her as much as I feel I do, then I should take this on with her and move onto the next chapter.

We were together for a year. I would always be at her house spending time with her family and siblings. I used to take her on dates all the time. It was a good, healthy relationship. For a long time, I felt happy that I did the relationship route but there was a little bit of fear in the back of my mind. I hoped this wouldn't go bad because we couldn't go back to being friends after being so deep in this.

About 8-9 months in, problems came up with her family and she was diagnosed with severe depression. That was a journey for us to manage how she dealt with her emotions and how it affected her inside. I still loved her but there was a lot going on because she would take things out on me even if she didn't really feel that way towards me.

When prom came it got really bad. I noticed a shift in her not enjoying talking with me and getting upset because just because I called her. She didn't want to spend time with me. Her depression literally turned her against me where she couldn't enjoy our bond anymore. I did everything I possibly could. I was there for her and tried to listen to her and give her advice if she needed someone with her just to breathe. I would help her out around the house. I did everything I could and everything was still going left.

My mom spent all this money for us to go to prom with this chauffeur and a car and she had a really pretty dress. Despite how nice everything was, she really didn't enjoy prom at all. The whole prom felt awkward. She wouldn't look me in the face when we were dancing together. She didn't really seem happy and the smile she did put on was just a mask.

I spent the night with her. The next day she sounded very monotone and irritated on the phone. This hit a break in my nerves. I told her I wasn't sure why she was acting this way but to let me know

when she wanted to talk without the attitude. Later that day we spoke and I decided it was best for us to separate because we just weren't doing each other any good.

She eventually said she wanted to be friends again so I said we can meet up and discuss it. She revealed that I didn't do anything for her to feel that way and she was just in a bad place. I decided to move on without her anyways."

-21, Taken


"We played basketball in 6th-7th grade. Everybody pretty much knew each other where I lived. Me and my girlfriend, she went to another school. The way I met her was on 3 way with some of my friends and I didn't know her like that so we all exchanged numbers. We ended up liking each other. I found out she played basketball (she was varsity her freshmen year and I didn't play til my second year).

We dated from 8th grade to my freshmen year of college. We were on and off. The only reason I considered her as my first love because she actually understood who I was. She actually took an opportunity to understand who I was and we had so much in common that there was never a dull moment.

The way the situation turned, even though we had been through so much, is because when you go to college coming from a small area it's a whole new experience. The caliber of females change, you're exposed to new situations that you weren't exposed to back home.

She went on to college and played basketball there and I did too but she was D1 but she was traveling a lot more than I was. Our schedules around school and other auxiliary orgs that we were in made it impossible for us to be on the same page. We tried and tried but eventually, we broke up and told each other it wasn't working and we were attracted to other people but we understood each other and were mature about it.

We tried it again my junior year and it came to a point where we grew apart.

My advice is that a lot of people want to hang on to what WAS instead of what IS and you can kill the friendship like that. If you feel yourself being in a relationship with a person that you been with and it doesn't feel the same and you trying and trying and nothing changes then just move on because you don't want to destroy what you have with them and lose them at the same time. If you really care about someone you gotta let them go and prosper."

-27, Taken

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When I Experience These 15 Things, I'll Know I've Found 'The One'

It's all based on trial and error.

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It's easy for me to think that because I'm hitting my twenties, I'm behind romantically. Especially when people around me are entering serious relationships, getting engaged, or even married. I've tried putting in some initiative and had some failed dating attempts and I've tried to just let the chips fall where they may and wound up pretty lonely. Any mistake I've made has brought me closer to figuring out what I need. And I've figured out that loneliness isn't that bad if I let myself be good company. And through all of it, I'm discovering that I'll know when it's my time.

Love doesn't have an expiration date. I'm not behind, and people already madly in love aren't ahead. We're all on different paths with different destinations. Comparing my life to others' only makes me miserable. There isn't any one aspect of my life I should rush.

As with all things, finding "the one" will just be a thing that happens when it's supposed to and I'll be able to feel it. I've always paid a lot of attention to how people around me make me feel, and there are really rare occasions where the vibe is immediately electrifying.

1. My head and my heart will finally be in agreement about something

I always find myself getting in my head, or my heart takes full control of a situation and my head. They hardly ever work together to establish a happy medium where love and logic work together to make sure I'm happy. When I've found the person who is sensible and who my heart beats out of my chest for, I'll know he's the one person for me.

2. I won't have to hold myself back

I know I can be a lot sometimes. My friends and family are all too aware of how extra I can get. They bring it out of me because they love it. But around some people, I get nervous and can't be myself. I think I'll know right away who I can be my whole entire self around. They won't want me to be any other way.

3. I'll want to be my best self

Because he'll deserve the best of me. I won't change anything about myself that I wouldn't on my own, but I'll grow with the person I'm meant to be with. It's always bothered me when people think they have to completely change themselves or the person they're with so they can be happy, but I understand that growth is a part of life. Nothing stays the same, and it shouldn't.

4. I won't be afraid to cry

This one is huge for me. I can be such an emotional person, but I find myself holding back my tears if I have the slightest inkling I'll be judged. I've only cried in front of a few family members and even fewer friends. This is the ultimate way I can tell if I'm completely comfortable with someone. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid of feelings. There's a beauty to vulnerability and I want to have that.

5. He'll match my excitement level

The most gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thing I've experienced is having people I really care about making me feel pathetic for caring about something. I want someone to love the way my eyes light up when I hear a song I really like, or when I gush about my day. I get excited really easily about the smallest stuff, and maybe that is pathetic. But the right person will understand that I show my love by expressing my passions, even the smallest ones.

6. I'll tell him EVERYTHING

This ties into the last one. With how easily entertained I get, it's easy for me to ramble about things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but that are important to me. The guy who's right for me won't mind carrying a conversation on for forever. I don't want to ever feel like either one of us is being ridiculous just because we really care about something.

7. My wildest dreams will seem attainable

This may be naive of me to think, but I want to be with someone who makes me feel like nothing is impossible. I guess that just means I want to be encouraged, which I would hope isn't a crazy idea. And I hope I give someone else that sense too. We should be a family that reaches for the stars. I was raised with the belief that I'm capable of anything as long as I think I am, and I want that mindset to carry me through the rest of my life.

8. I won't ever be embarrassed

We all deserve to have someone in our lives that we completely trust. I want to be able to relax and know that I have one person who loves me enough to accept every part of who I am. I don't want to take life too seriously with the person I'll be spending all of it with. I want to be able to make an ass of myself, or sing horribly in the car with full confidence, or burn an entire dinner shamelessly and fearlessly.

9. I'll want to spend all my time with him, but we'll both know that can't happen

The healthiest relationships are built on trust. I think part of that is understanding that you can be individuals and trust that when you're not together the bond is still there. There's nothing wrong with having full lives outside of one another; friendships, careers, and separate interests. I never want to forget who I was before I was with someone else because I'm a big fan of her.

10. I'll never be bored

I don't do well with not having something to fill my time. It's really easy to keep me entertained, so this isn't asking much of someone. And yet I've been out with guys who have left me wondering if I still had a pulse by the end of the night. I just want to be able to laugh nonstop or have a deep conversation that gets my wheels turning. When given the chance, I can talk for hours about the wildest things — aliens, the afterlife, songs I'm listening to, you name it. I've managed to stay amused without having someone around all the time, so I'm definitely not about to have less fun when there's someone else in the picture.

11. I'll never have to lie because the truth will always be okay

I hate lying, and that's a really good thing because I'm so bad at it. I don't want to ever feel like I can't be honest with the person I love, no matter how little the issue is. I want to feel confident that we can just laugh it off or communicate well enough for everything to work out. I feel really anxious about the future when I see people in relationships getting by on little fibs because I never want to take life so seriously that I think the truth will do that much damage.

12. Everything will be better

I think this thought has sprung from the idealistic side of my brain that is covered in glitter and wild daisies, but I'm gonna go with it. All our lives we're taught that love is the most powerful force in the world and that it conquers all. So for me, that always meant that when I'm in love, everything will be better than it's ever been. My favorite songs will sound better, my favorite foods taste better, and my favorite flowers smell better. I think I connect all those senses with the butterflies in the stomach or fireworks that people are always talking about. That's the feeling I've been waiting for and I really hope I don't have to settle.

13. I'll laugh my ridiculous laugh and he'll love it

Ya know how Jimmy Fallon laughs at basically everything? Well, same. That's probably why he's my favorite person on TV. I think my favorite thing in the entire world is laughter and I want my life to be so full of it. Laughter is like music in the way that it fills the world with color that you can hear. As an optimist, I choose to let things be funny instead of inconvenient or a mistake. Life, in general, can just be funny sometimes.

14. He won't be my other half

It's honestly gross to refer to someone's partner as their "other half" or "better half." As if they weren't a whole person before. Everyone builds a life for themselves before someone, and then there are add-ons to that if you choose to bring someone else into it. I want to be in a unit of two whole people who have formed one love and one family, but also as two people who completely know who they are outside of one another.

15. I won't be looking for him

I don't think you can track love down and pack it up to take it home. It has a way of getting to you when you need it, whether you know you do or not. Any searching I've done was not with the intention of finding "the one," but more to figure out what's best for me. I'm hoping that there's a higher power in charge of making sure each person finds who they're meant to be with forever when they're in the right place mentally and physically to take on such a serious commitment. I don't think age or time has anything to do with it, its all about personal growth and development.

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Love Is Tricky, But It Is Still Possible

Take the steps and time, if it truly lasts you will have forever.

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Love is a concept that you love or hate because it involves having a partner(s) to care for and to nurture. Love is not about lust, the rush, and how fast something can happen; it is about commitment, patience, and the journey to build a permanent connection.

Most relationships fumble like a football because people focus on the wrong things than building the connection; the connection is the foundation of any relationship. As simple as the foundation sounds it is a sophisticated foundation consisted of trust, commitment, communication, time, and the desire to be together.

Even with the connection established, it is the matter of keeping the relationship because as time goes, the bond starts to wear out. However, strong relationships keep the link by going on adventures, big or small to continue to keep the relationship healthy. A healthy relationship takes things slowly and allows themselves to take in the beauty that the connection has formed between them.

Love has challenges, filled with distance, unsupportive people, and busy schedules. Love is about preserving through the obstacles to be together and laughing at everyone who said that it was not possible to be together. Love is essential, not only in the romantic aspect but in the perspective of building with one another and helping each other thrive.

Love brings the best in people because it brings the soft and caring side knowing that someone cares for them and that this thing is real (most of the time), and that someone truly cares for them. I know it did for me when I met my boyfriend, I got softer and more caring in general because of him and I'm glad I have changed for the good.

The main goal in love is to have a happy beginning, not a happy ending. Happy beginnings start the adventures together, and I hope that is possible for everyone.

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