Dear fellow classmates:

From generation to generation high schoolers have been plagued by the overwhelming urges of possessing… gum. You heard me right folks: gum. Gum is the one product that high schoolers cannot live without. It is the wonderful taste of rebellion in our oppressed community of hour long classes and sloppy, unnurturing lunches. It is the power of the students that makes us all one. Gum is our life force that gets us through the day. Gum is high school's crack.

Now, I didn’t write this article to make a cult dedicated to our all powerful lord Gum. I wrote it to discuss the ridiculous rule of not allowing gum in class. It is absolutely absurd that the very thing that unites us students together pits us against the evil teachers who forbid this amazing product in their classes. Ironic, since chewing gum in class is actually beneficial to all parties involved! “Gum is distracting,” the teachers argue. Quite the opposite!

Did you know that gum increases the flow of oxygen to regions of the brain responsible for attention? A student who chews gum in class is more likely to concentrate on the lesson than a non-chewer. Not only does gum improve attention, but it improves reflexes as well as accuracy rates on quizzes, tests, and class work.

Imagine a classroom where you’re allowed to wallow in the glory of chewing gum without the disapproving looks of goody-two-shoes and the impending wrath of your teacher.

Mrs. Manzanero, a teacher at a local school, demonstrates this exact scenario in her class every day. “Whenever my students are fidgety or having ADHD problems, I just give them a piece of gum and they are much more focused and willing to learn than before! Also I give it to students who are sleep deprived. Instead of sending them out for a glass of water, I give them a piece of gum and they instantly wake up. I use gum as a way to motivate students in class. I use it as a reward for learning games and other fun activities.”

Mrs. Manzanero accepts the amazing opportunities of gum and uses it in an inventive way to make her classroom all the more fun, as should all teachers. Gum really shouldn’t be viewed as a threat. It should be viewed as an opportunity to bask in the awesome powers it possesses for the entire school community!

Schools have been intentionally ignoring the hard facts that gum is good for the classroom environment.

Classmates, it is time to start the revolution. Bring out your Trident, Excel, Halls, Extra, Juicy Fruit, Splash. Now is the time for change. Now is the time for victory. Now is the time for gum!