Growing up, I was a bit of an odd kid. I wasn't very good at socializing. I was really shy, and interacting with the other kids was something i wasn't very good at. I found it hard to understand any sort of joke or sarcasm, and often, at times, took people too literally when they would say something they intended to be harmless humor. Others just looked at me and figured I was just a weird kid. Turns out, I had Asperger's Syndrome.
Asperger's Syndrome is a higher-functioning form of autism on the autism spectrum disorder. It is often described as a less severe form of autism. Kids diagnosed with it often have trouble socially interacting with others and miss social cues. Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can all be a real hit or miss for someone with this condition. For me, it was a big miss. I didn't understand body language or facial expressions. Sarcasm was also really difficult, and sometimes still is. Eye contact, during a direct conversation with someone, was weird, and it actually still is. It was always hard to tell when people were joking, especially grown-ups, and I took what everyone said too literally. My mother understood this too well, so, to combat this, she knew she had to be really specific when telling me something. Instead of saying "put it down", she'd say "put it down over there," indicating a more specific command so I wouldn't drop whatever I was holding right on the ground. I recall one instance in which I was asked to take care of something for a friend, but he needed it done soon. I like to take things at my own pace, so, while he was watching me work, he sarcastically said: "Take your time, why don't you?" And me, not catching on to it at the time.I responded with "Oh, thank you. I will. I don't really like to rush these things, ya know?" He then explained he was being sarcastic, and that he really needed me to pick up the pace. Something that normal people take for granted is common sense -- you know all those things people pick up, just by living. For me, and others like me, there is no such thing as making the assumption that I didn't need to be told something that most people automatically just know.
Asperger's is actually a bit more common than most would think, but can be hard to notice for this same reason. A lot of people don't even realize they have it until much later in their lives. Some may just be written off as people with weird quirks or social issues, but it's a bit deeper than that. It's a common disorder, with its own set of symptoms and it shouldn't be overlooked. People really do struggle with this every day, young and old. There are even therapy and classes to help them deal with and understand social cues. I once read an article about a man who didn't know he had Asperger's until recently at that time, and he was already in his forties when he was diagnosed.
I remember, for a long time, not really having much of a change in tone when I spoke. I only spoke when spoken to or addressed directly, because I was afraid to confuse anyone or myself. At this point, around the time of being a teenager, I started to understand the things I didn't understand about myself before. I started to pinpoint the hints that I had always missed before. I began to see the changes in people's voices, when something made them happy or upset, and I also took note of gestures, facial expressions and other non-verbal forms of communication. It was hard, because most people pick up on these quite easily, but I did not. So I would have a hard time understanding someone, and in turn, someone would find it difficult to do the same. Over time, from watching and observing, I learned to grasp most of the basics of social interaction as I grew older, and I even began to practice a bit of sarcasm myself.
It took me a very long time to get the basic social concepts that most people pick up easily and early in life, and might also even consider it common sense. With that, I also learned that I shouldn't even take the simplest things for granted and that I shouldn't make anyone feel bad for their own shortcomings. We all have our difficulties in life that we struggle with, but with time, we can overcome them. I struggled a long time with my own, but I went from completely not understanding social concepts for most of my life, to completely grasping and mastering them throughout my life. It was a slow process, one I look back on every so often. I do still struggle with some things, like sarcasm and eye contact during conversation, but I get through it. The experiences I've had have taught me about hardship, and to not give up on myself.
I hope that this helps others understand what other people with Asperger's Syndrome, like me, go through. It's not a trivial matter or something that should be written off. If you know someone who has Asperger's or has had similar struggles, talk to them about it. Ask them about how they have struggled or what they have had to deal with. It's interesting to ask someone and get a different point of view or learn of different experiences. They may have struggled in different areas, or may not have even known about it until later in life. More people are being diagnosed and it is getting noticed more than ever before. With that being said, I hope you know a bit more about it and have become more aware of Asperger's and people who are diagnosed with it.
