Most people have some sort form of grandparent in their lives- someone who may or may not be biologically related to you who help your parents raise you. The presence of grandparents is invaluable in a child’s life. But what about the kids who didn’t have grandparents for one reason or another? What was it like for them? I’m here to tell you.
For the majority of my life I grew up without grandparents. My dad’s parents passed away before I was born and my mom’s parents… well, my time with them was limited and visits were few and far between. They lived fourteen hours away and visits were strictly monitored due to the fact that my mom’s father was, to put it nicely, an abusive, narcissistic SOB. Because of this, my mom’s parents were not present in my life.
So back to the point, what is it like to grow up without grandparents? I’ll tell you.
It’s having exhausted parents because they both work difficult jobs to provide for the family and have to do everything by themselves. It’s not having the luxury of just calling up grandma and grandpa to ask for financial help here and there. It’s sitting with the teachers in the elementary school cafeteria every year on Grandparent's Day while you watch all your friends smile at the goodies their grandparents brought for them. It’s feeling left out when your friends are talking about what their nanas and papas got them for Christmas or their birthday because you can’t chime in. It’s crying the night before your elementary school graduation because everyones’ family is going to be there while your mom is away on a business trip and you don’t know if your dad is going be able to take off work. It's staying at after school almost every day because mom and dad have work and sitters are expensive after a while. It’s having no one to call when you have your first fender bender because Dad has a meeting in 5 minutes and Mom is busy and can’t answer the phone. It’s not being able to control your jealousy when you’re moving into your first college dorm room and your roommate’s grandmother is helping her hang all the beautiful pictures that she had printed for her granddaughter.
It's wondering what they were like and never getting an answer. Did my grandmother like shopping as much as I do? Would she have wanted to do my hair for prom or formal or even my wedding? Would my grandfather have insisted on teaching me how to drive a stick shift? Would they have been proud of me?
It’s knowing that there are events in your life that they should be at but won’t be. Prom, graduation, formal, birthdays, getting your degree, but the worst of all, your wedding. Your wedding is the happiest day of your life and it makes you a little (a lot) sad to know that they won’t be there to share it with you, to watch you walk down the aisle. It’s being sad not only for you, but for your spouse and future children. Not only did you not get to know your grandparents, but they will not get to either. It’s dreading the day when your future children ask you about their great grandparents because you won’t be able to answer them. It’s being angry. It’s being angry at God. “God why did You take my dad’s parents so young? Why did You make my only living grandfather so mean? Why do You dangle my friend’s grandparents in front of my face? Why would You do this to me? Why would You do this to my family? Why would You do this?”
Growing up without grandparents sucks. There’s no other way to put it. It’s a lot of jealousy and a lot of sadness. But there’s a good side too. It’s knowing that I have a whole group of guardian angels watching over me. It’s knowing that my grandparents don’t have to deal with the hardships of this world. It’s knowing that they are in paradise. Best of all, it’s knowing that one day I will meet them for the first time and never have to say goodbye.
